Intimacy: Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final...

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By vivelawank - 10/05/2014 20:52 - United Kingdom

Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 660

You deserved it 60 235

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Same thing different taste

By polimeros - 09/05/2012 22:19 - Mexico - Queretaro

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 612

You deserved it 41 850

By james - 14/12/2008 13:14 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 122

You deserved it 6 866

C'est la langue de l'amour!

By Anonymous - 19/10/2017 05:00

Today, my French teacher set up a role-play scenario to act out in front of the class. During one of my lines, I mispronounced a phrase and called my teacher sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 096

You deserved it 462

By boner - 01/02/2010 20:51 - United States

Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 677

You deserved it 6 186

By TomPom - 25/11/2008 06:54 - France

Today, in one of the corridors at university, I was pretending to have passionate sex with one of my lecturers to make my mates laugh. She happened to walk by just at that moment. She reminded me when my next exam is; she will be marking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 313

You deserved it 37 607

By kiki - 05/08/2010 18:24 - United States

Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 362

You deserved it 3 884

By French - 24/10/2013 12:52 - Australia - Saint Kilda

Today, I taught my girlfriend some French. She then used her newfound language to break up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 732

You deserved it 4 695

By MyHeadHurts - 20/01/2012 10:42 - Ireland

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 218

You deserved it 39 619

By SpanishInFrenchClass - 06/12/2012 05:35 - United States

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 784

You deserved it 5 441

Drawing a blank

By Anonymous - 04/03/2021 08:01

Today, I sat my end of year assessment. I was quite pleased that nothing I learned in my syllabus came up on the test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 113

lissa_jade 22

Sunday 11 May 2014 1:10

then stop playing with your "oui oui" and study !

moo_and_bloo 10

Sunday 11 May 2014 1:06

Wow. Good job.(sarcasm)

Comments

Omniprism 14

Sunday 11 May 2014 20:28

Regardless, it should help with it in some way I'd think.

Taylor22294 24

Sunday 11 May 2014 21:09

Seems like you had a very productive day. I'm proud of you. Keep it up.

mkayden 23

Sunday 11 May 2014 21:22

At least you'll know what to say when the question reads 'Parle dirty à moi'.

jo0owe 9

Tuesday 13 May 2014 13:17

its not a question, and dirty is an english word...but still, lache pas la patate tu va l'avoir! (that french is more.from.quebec, but its still valid xD)

drfifi 12

Sunday 11 May 2014 22:34

Thats revision right? All ive done is watch eurovision and spend all day watching criminal minds dubbed in french

redelmo20 3

Sunday 11 May 2014 23:36

Sick

iamthunder 4

Monday 12 May 2014 2:13

Unless the exam asks how to say "Push it harder" or "**** me" in French I think you're Le Screwed!

signalbeats 11

Monday 12 May 2014 4:15

depends on how much dialog the **** contains. then you could be ok

pimrol 16

Monday 12 May 2014 9:01

wanker

robinhood2014 6

Monday 12 May 2014 19:09

u deserve it...

CadillacFrank_fml 12

Monday 12 May 2014 21:39

Zut alors!

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Today, my wife has been using "pregnancy hormones" as an excuse for absolutely everything. Spills a milkshake in bed at one in the morning? Pregnancy hormones! Cries about a hole in her sock? Pregnancy hormones! Gets caught fucking her coworker? Pregnancy hormones! FML

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You deserved it 249

Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and was about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuttled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML

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The Top

Today, I noticed that I get more calls from people who've dialed the wrong number than I do from people I actually know. FML

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You deserved it 2 820

Today, my dad caught me having sex with my secret boyfriend, so he threw him naked into the street. I’m 28 years-old and it’s my house. This kind of bullshit is exactly the reason I kept my boyfriend a secret and why I got a mortgage I can barely afford, just so I didn’t live with my dad anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 181

You deserved it 401

Today, after my boyfriend ignored me for hours playing video games, he gave me some attention for a little bit. When I tried to run my fingers through his hair, I missed and punched him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 950

You deserved it 838

Today, my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street cred by snitching." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 010

You deserved it 6 753

Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threats against my life, informed me that she now has a concealed carry permit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 546

You deserved it 3 593

Today, I started this show and was really confused what was happening until I realized I accidentally started from the last episode so I basically ruined the whole show for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 745

You deserved it 1 338

Same thing different taste

C'est la langue de l'amour!

Drawing a blank

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