Intimacy: Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final...

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By vivelawank - 10/05/2014 20:52 - United Kingdom

Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 660

You deserved it 60 236

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Same thing different taste

By polimeros - 09/05/2012 22:19 - Mexico - Queretaro

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 612

You deserved it 41 851

By james - 14/12/2008 13:14 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 122

You deserved it 6 866

C'est la langue de l'amour!

By Anonymous - 19/10/2017 05:00

Today, my French teacher set up a role-play scenario to act out in front of the class. During one of my lines, I mispronounced a phrase and called my teacher sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 097

You deserved it 462

By boner - 01/02/2010 20:51 - United States

Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 677

You deserved it 6 186

By TomPom - 25/11/2008 06:54 - France

Today, in one of the corridors at university, I was pretending to have passionate sex with one of my lecturers to make my mates laugh. She happened to walk by just at that moment. She reminded me when my next exam is; she will be marking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 313

You deserved it 37 607

By kiki - 05/08/2010 18:24 - United States

Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 362

You deserved it 3 884

By French - 24/10/2013 12:52 - Australia - Saint Kilda

Today, I taught my girlfriend some French. She then used her newfound language to break up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 735

You deserved it 4 695

By MyHeadHurts - 20/01/2012 10:42 - Ireland

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 219

You deserved it 39 624

Where did you learn that one?

By Kilamo - 19/06/2025 09:00 - France - Paris

Today, I tried to impress a French student by saying “Bonjour!” but instead said “Bordel!” which means “Brothel.” She laughed, and so did every one of the french students around us. My cultural street cred is officially dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By SpanishInFrenchClass - 06/12/2012 05:35 - United States

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 784

You deserved it 5 441

lissa_jade 22

Sunday 11 May 2014 1:10

then stop playing with your "oui oui" and study !

moo_and_bloo 10

Sunday 11 May 2014 1:06

Wow. Good job.(sarcasm)

Comments

LyetaVolk 7

Tuesday 13 May 2014 3:50

procrastabating

Greenmarsh 31

Tuesday 13 May 2014 4:07

Fun reason to fail though, haha

hunter7614 3

Tuesday 13 May 2014 4:34

Just listen to that one part of Partition by Beyoncé. You'll do fine.

iDumpp 4

Thursday 15 May 2014 19:29

A+ for determination

EpicGuy70 13

Friday 16 May 2014 15:43

Now, To be honest, **** is great, but it can wait for after finals.YDI

dwshptw46 7

Friday 16 May 2014 20:58

OMG THAT NAME IS PRICELESS!!!!!

bigmillzy 3

Saturday 17 May 2014 1:36

I recommend screaming "MERDE" and "BAISER" at the top of your lungs as you read over the exam... Trust me your teacher will love you :)

f0xr0t 8

Monday 19 May 2014 23:23

très bien !

fawfulster 11

Thursday 22 May 2014 4:26

To be fair, French girls are indeed hot.

WILBUSCUS 6

Saturday 24 May 2014 14:51

vous méritiez que vous pervers

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Today, I took a nap. My boyfriend took this opportunity to go over to his "beautiful" and "amazing" ex-girlfriend's house to help her clean out her pool. I told him I didn't think that was appropriate. He told me I don't value relationships and didn't come home tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 095

You deserved it 2 652

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She had such an uncontrollable, aggressive orgasm that I'd be celebrating my efforts, if only in the process she hadn't knocked over my new expensive laptop, which then split in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 909

You deserved it 487

The Top

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. I've been secretly taking Welsh lessons as a surprise for him, so when I was getting close, I whispered the Welsh for "Don't stop." He pulled out and accused me of cheating on him with his best friend. He won't believe anything else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 187

You deserved it 4 723

Today, I have no close friends, only "people I know and occasionally talk to." I have no idea how I got here, and how to re-socialize back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 665

You deserved it 219

Today, we had to abandon a Winter Scout camping trip midway because of a blizzard. I was hauling my stuff out of the cabin. No one warned me about the icy steps. I slipped, landed on my tailbone, blacked out and saw stars. Everyone is now laughing at me and doing impressions of me rolling in the snow in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 117

Today, I was trying to impress a very cute guy at a party by grinding up against him. During my very sexy choreography, I heard him say, “It feels like a slug rubbing against me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 306

Today, it's my 22nd birthday. The only person who remembered was the dentist who sent me a postcard in the mail. I stopped going to him four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 989

You deserved it 2 903

Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 103

You deserved it 7 792

Same thing different taste

C'est la langue de l'amour!

Where did you learn that one?

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