Intimacy: Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final...

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By vivelawank - 10/05/2014 20:52 - United Kingdom

Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 660

You deserved it 60 236

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Same thing different taste

By polimeros - 09/05/2012 22:19 - Mexico - Queretaro

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 612

You deserved it 41 850

By james - 14/12/2008 13:14 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 122

You deserved it 6 866

C'est la langue de l'amour!

By Anonymous - 19/10/2017 05:00

Today, my French teacher set up a role-play scenario to act out in front of the class. During one of my lines, I mispronounced a phrase and called my teacher sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 096

You deserved it 462

By boner - 01/02/2010 20:51 - United States

Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 677

You deserved it 6 186

By TomPom - 25/11/2008 06:54 - France

Today, in one of the corridors at university, I was pretending to have passionate sex with one of my lecturers to make my mates laugh. She happened to walk by just at that moment. She reminded me when my next exam is; she will be marking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 313

You deserved it 37 607

By kiki - 05/08/2010 18:24 - United States

Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 362

You deserved it 3 884

By French - 24/10/2013 12:52 - Australia - Saint Kilda

Today, I taught my girlfriend some French. She then used her newfound language to break up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 733

You deserved it 4 695

By MyHeadHurts - 20/01/2012 10:42 - Ireland

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 218

You deserved it 39 619

By SpanishInFrenchClass - 06/12/2012 05:35 - United States

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 784

You deserved it 5 441

Drawing a blank

By Anonymous - 04/03/2021 08:01

Today, I sat my end of year assessment. I was quite pleased that nothing I learned in my syllabus came up on the test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 113

lissa_jade 22

Sunday 11 May 2014 1:10

then stop playing with your "oui oui" and study !

moo_and_bloo 10

Sunday 11 May 2014 1:06

Wow. Good job.(sarcasm)

Comments

buckdharma 37

Sunday 11 May 2014 3:53

I bet you stayed up all night.

FML_14u2c 14

Sunday 11 May 2014 4:04

OP gave "ah wee wee" a new meaning.

fictionaldiary 11

Sunday 11 May 2014 4:30

In what universe do you not deserve this?

martin8337 35

Sunday 11 May 2014 4:39

Wee wee?

yourwifelovesme 25

Sunday 11 May 2014 4:39

moi aussi

martin8337 35

Sunday 11 May 2014 4:42

Holy phoque.

jo0owe 9

Tuesday 13 May 2014 13:13

hahaaha elle.est bien bonne xD

taylahhowell 10

Sunday 11 May 2014 5:02

That's the only way to study for a test on any language.

dexterp1991 6

Tuesday 13 May 2014 0:00

then lets learn French

BreathingClover 19

Sunday 11 May 2014 5:05

France needs wankers too..

raphanne_fml 33

Sunday 11 May 2014 9:30

Oh, we have plenty of that already...

demtitties 5

Sunday 11 May 2014 5:06

You a disgusting pig that will never actually get a woman. Boys who watch **** should get their penis put in a blender.

jakeroney98 14

Sunday 11 May 2014 5:15

You'll probably, ironically, get a D on your final

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Today, I found out nobody in my family wants to come to my college graduation. I spent four years and $60,000 to be the first person in my family to go to college, and nobody wants to see me graduate because the four hour ceremony is "too long." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 502

You deserved it 4 615

Today, while I was out of the office, I'd left my phone charging inside. My boss informed me that since I am clearly running up her electricity bill, it will be deducted out of my already nearly non existent paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 349

You deserved it 4 384

The Top

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 663

You deserved it 80 914

Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 758

You deserved it 5 276

Today, I gave my wife of four years a special anniversary gift: a red rose dipped in liquid gold so that she would cherish and admire it forever. She told me it was too "Italian" looking. I now have a hundred dollar rose sitting in my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 259

You deserved it 6 387

Today, on a first date, he told me I look like his ex's mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 246

You deserved it 955

Today, the gas company came to connect our stove for free. While here, they broke our hot water heater, shut it off, and issued us a hazard notice. We can fix it, but they won't be able to come back for another two weeks to turn the gas back on. We don't have any hot water until then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 580

You deserved it 1 780

Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 520

You deserved it 3 372

Same thing different taste

C'est la langue de l'amour!

Drawing a blank

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