Intimacy: Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish...

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By RyanM - 13/02/2011 09:01 - Canada

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 989

You deserved it 64 723

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Same thing different taste

Keep fit!

By anonymous - 13/04/2020 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were on the phone. She heard I was out of breath and asked me, "Are you okay?" I didn't have the heart to tell her that she'd caught me masturbating, and I'm so out of shape it sounded like I'd ran a marathon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 374

You deserved it 1 684

By Jack Shart Jr. - 08/07/2015 15:16 - United States

Today, I'm so out of shape that I got winded from getting out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 069

You deserved it 18 041

Out of shape

By Anonymous - 28/06/2022 02:00

Today, I’m now so unfit, I had to stop halfway through sex with my wife to catch my breath, and in the end we just gave up, as clearly neither of us was having an orgasm today. I don’t get it, I weigh exactly 11 stone and exercise regularly, but I have no stamina and shit lungs. I hate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 307

You deserved it 356

Fresh and not Fit

By Anonymous - 14/06/2011 01:08 - United States

Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 817

You deserved it 54 649

Take it easy

By Endrit Begolli - 27/06/2023 00:02 - Albania

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was so out of shape that I couldn't even finish my warm-up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 251

Wanking to death

By Anonymous - 30/11/2013 00:17 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 759

You deserved it 12 432

Health is overrated

By Anonymous - 16/03/2022 12:00

Today, trying to get into shape because I run out of breath after walking more than 30 minutes, I started to hit the gym. Too bad my legs didn’t want to cooperate and decided that it would cause limping-worthy pain for every step I took on the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 193

By Anonymous - 29/10/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I went running for the first time in a few months. I had what I thought was an asthma attack. When I got home, I realized that it was not asthma, but instead I have gained so much weight that my running bra restricted my breathing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 635

You deserved it 31 331

Getting on

By Anonymous - 01/05/2021 23:00

Today, I realized that I’m old, and that it’s been too long since I had sex or even masturbated. How did I notice? Because I tried to, and I found out I couldn’t comfortably spread my legs that far anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 293

Knackered and shattered

By Out of Shape - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Egypt

Today, I decided to start exercising. I almost passed out five minutes into the warm up, and couldn't even stand in the shower afterwards. I'm only 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 127

You deserved it 35 892

DJR_fml 2

Sunday 13 February 2011 16:22

did you know 5 out of 5 guys. **********.. :O

Raddaya 3

Sunday 13 February 2011 16:26

Sir, this is the funniest FML I have ever seen. Thank you for making my day. As a reward, I bless you that you will succesfully **********.

Comments

waswashere 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 16:26

lol take your time then???

QueenOfBoredom 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 20:14

now wheres the fun in that?

mcintosh123 15

Monday 14 February 2011 2:38

How would you know? you don't even have one

raiderbabe 0

Monday 14 February 2011 6:45

I lmao when I read your comment. I agree:)

maskedman 9

Sunday 13 February 2011 16:26

That's nothing. My dick is so small that when I **********, I cum on my balls.

Person1233 12

Sunday 13 February 2011 16:29

You should collect disabity from the government for that.

sukhi16 1

Sunday 13 February 2011 17:48

lol

voirontship 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 1:14

lmfao

seximexi911 10

Tuesday 15 February 2011 15:12

oh wow

christian50 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 16:28

Stop jerking off till your dick bleeds, and get on a tread-mill fat ass.

valri3 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 16:28

I've got nothing to say....

ben1122a 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 16:28

oops. in soviet russia, grammar nazi gets shot. so dont try to correct me or i keeeel you!

bigphill1333 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 16:30

fail.

valri3 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 16:30

I've got nothing to say....

jayAZ 3

Sunday 13 February 2011 16:59

still

Blackmail111 9

Sunday 13 February 2011 23:23

then don't post it twice

ben1122a 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 16:30

oops. in soviet russia, grammar nazi gets shot. so dont try to correct me or i keeeel you!

MLuckyCapoeirist 6

Sunday 13 February 2011 17:53

*clicks virtual dislike button + thumb down*

SLP9008 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 19:45

love :)

trooper250 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 16:31

tmi buddy

The_Commentor_ 6

Sunday 13 February 2011 16:32

YDI for not exercising.

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Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said, "Well, you could always ask me." I then said, "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was, "Nope… now that's 8!" FML

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I agree, your life sucks 54 830

You deserved it 5 473

Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 391

You deserved it 23 099

Today, I discovered the importance of having sex before marriage. We found out that my husband is gay on our wedding night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 955

You deserved it 1 664

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I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 173

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I agree, your life sucks 659

You deserved it 360

Today, while skiing on Mammoth Mountain, a man dressed in an Easter Bunny costume snowboarded into me and sent me flying. Not only did he hurt my wrist, he also threw an Easter egg at me, yelled "Happy Easter", and snowboarded away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 050

You deserved it 4 339

Same thing different taste

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