Kids: Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what...

By Alex - 26/03/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 197

You deserved it 76 850

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/08/2013 04:48 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 048

You deserved it 3 785

By deerling - 18/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 938

You deserved it 342

By I don't know, son - 16/11/2013 01:53 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 846

You deserved it 4 781

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 21:57 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 560

You deserved it 4 699

By Anonymous - 23/02/2013 06:28 - United States - Calhan

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 570

You deserved it 3 451

By Username - 29/07/2011 23:36 - United States

Today, my younger brother and I got into a fight over who the favorite child is. My mom overheard, came in the living room and said, "It's your little brother, now shut up." She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 334

You deserved it 7 350

By Anonymous - 29/03/2013 01:13 - United States - Sunnyvale

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 203

You deserved it 18 846

Little shit

By moneyman22 - 01/03/2010 19:09 - United States

Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 479

You deserved it 3 966

By mr.palendrome - 06/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 437

You deserved it 28 104

Little twit

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 03:38 - United States

Today, my 7 year-old brother asked me what "horny" meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 741

You deserved it 7 131

theauthor 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 12:05

LOL i had a similar experience when my 3 1/2 yr old cousin told me sadly that "tomas the tank engine is shit"

Cogeno 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 12:51

I remember my 9 year old nephew recently got suspended for telling the teacher to 'Go suck her husband' after she was giving him shit.

Comments

Kluender 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 6:27

I laughed so hard.

DizzyDemon0 9

Saturday 28 March 2009 7:35

well...DID SHE?!

Prof_Oak 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 23:13

duuuuuude i wana meet that kid hahaha

yeahyouknow 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 4:34

wow. my friend and i laughed so hard when we read this.

disturbed99 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 7:00

dude i think its time 4 u to suck one. ur brother is 4 and still cooler than u

Milesbros 0

Friday 24 April 2009 5:39

haha what a beast.

LoveToSmile101 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 16:17

Haha your brother is ******* amazing!

ImFree17 0

Monday 27 July 2009 20:39

My aunt's boyfriend has a 4 year old son. He wont cuss because he will get his ass beat,, but he says the funniest things. One day we were driving in the car and the 4 yr old randomly says "I dont like walking" and my aunt replys "Why buddy?".. he then said "Why do you ask so many questions? I hate it when you ask me questions. And I hate it when you look at me." lol

Rowena_fml 1

Tuesday 28 July 2009 19:22

Haha a little 2 year old boy that I babysit for says the funniest things. Whenever I tell him it's time to clean up his toys or to stop throwing things or something like that, that he doesn't like, he just looks at me with his big eyes and says "Please stop talking."