Love: Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm... - FML

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By Tim - 03/08/2011 07:40 - United States

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 905

You deserved it 6 160

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Shy guy

By Big_gulps_huh - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I realized I am more confident running a million-dollar piece of construction equipment than I am around people of the opposite sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 924

You deserved it 551

By Female - 29/09/2016 03:26 - United States - Montebello

Today, I was excited to finally get an interview after being unemployed since getting out of the military nearly a year ago. Turns out, they weren't even interested in hiring me. They'd just never met a female Marine before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 479

You deserved it 824

By carboat - 28/01/2009 09:24 - United States

Today, I woke up and I'm still in the Marine Corps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 378

You deserved it 44 756

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 05:16 - United States - Davis

Today, I realized that I will be leaving for the US Marine Corps in June, and the presidential election is in November. I could potentially be serving with Trump as my Commander-in-Chief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 451

You deserved it 4 976

By Anonymous - 30/12/2009 17:47 - United States

Today, I realized the closest thing I have to guys hitting on me are the ones who ask to be my friend on Call of Duty because I have the word "girl" in my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 383

You deserved it 6 940

Frying pan, meet fire

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 22:00

Today, I got back from an 8 month deployment but rather than being pleased to see me my wife wanted to continue the same argument we were having the day I left. I miss being shot at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 141

Benefits

By Fitz - 05/05/2009 12:22 - United States

Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184 948

You deserved it 14 286

Smooth brainrot

By S3R1AL K1LL3R X - 19/10/2010 04:21 - United States

Today, in my college class, our teacher asked us what we wanted to do when we get out of college. I guess being a U.S. Marine gets you a lecture for the whole class to hear that I'm a war hungry pig, and should get a real job that requires a brain. My job field is Aircraft repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 410

You deserved it 4 511

By saywhat - 26/01/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I met the girl who dumped me because the distance between us was too great. We're in the same city again. She's now dating a Marine in Iraq. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 136

You deserved it 2 824

Catch!

By Jaxter - 18/03/2009 05:41 - United States

Today, I was walking up to girlfriend's house when her terrifying Marine Corps dad threw a football at me. Not being very athletic, I surprised myself by catching it. He gestured for me throw it back and I watched it spiral wildy to the left and hit my girlfriend's mom in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 132

You deserved it 15 027

Next

Top comments

dc4 12

Wednesday 3 August 2011 15:55

Awww, that's cute :P

FreakinChaps 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 15:56

Girls aren't THAT scary...

Comments

SorrowFull 8

Wednesday 3 August 2011 19:40

Semper Fi, just remember that you are a Marine but if you want to impress a woman don't act like a Marine. Don't use stupid pick up lines, or drink until you get sick. The best advice just watch out for some women that target Marines, the px princesses.

reddawn85 8

Wednesday 3 August 2011 19:49

^ truth

thir13enthour 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 19:45

Marines get mad pussy. I know a few girls who only go after military guys. Own that shit bro.

storminmormon89 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 19:47

Right there with you brother.

GoodLookingGeese 10

Wednesday 3 August 2011 19:48

I like this guy (the OP). While he gets to play war - I get all the chicks. And this way we have a less competition down here - I bet you'll need few thousands of handsome, good looking guys as reinforcements to help you there!!!

xiiijinx 5

Wednesday 3 August 2011 19:52

Thats cause you know what's gonna happen when you get shot at. Girls are unpredictable.

skulskinator 5

Wednesday 3 August 2011 19:52

Dude I'll hook you up. I know so many girls who would love to date a man in the military

lizzyeah 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 20:00

Aww that's cute lol that does suck for you though

SilentTreatment 7

Wednesday 3 August 2011 20:22

USMC Infantry!... Mess with the Best, Die like the Rest. Oorah??!

WHITE3TIGER 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 20:23

that's the same with me exept I'm a us Army ranger

fmlthatguy 1

Wednesday 3 August 2011 20:23

thats because you cant get a bullet or motar pregnant and it wont give you herpes. SEMPER FI!

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The Top

Today, I thought it would be romantic to fill my girlfriend's room with scented candles and surprise her when she was done showering. I lied there naked, with Kenny G playing softly. I heard a knock on the door, so I told her to come in. To my surprise it was her mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 312

You deserved it 24 671

Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 072

You deserved it 7 205

The Top

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 338

You deserved it 3 849

Today, the only member of our family who can get health insurance is our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 814

You deserved it 426

Today, I scrambled to get out of work on the dot to go to a special pharmacy that closes at 5 pm an hour away. I arrived at 4:58. Upon reaching the door, one of the employees came and locked it in my face. Apparently, her going home early was more important than me getting my medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 336

You deserved it 398

Today, I was diagnosed with a condition where blood vessels in my brain spasm just before orgasm, resulting in me getting a wicked migraine that lasts for days. The only cure? No more orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 603

You deserved it 139

Today, it was my Sweet Sixteen. Only two of my friends showed up, and they spent the whole night texting their boyfriends. After several failed attempts to do something fun or even get them to talk to me, I got up and left the room, and didn't come back. They didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 91

Today, I went to visit my aunt who recently was released from an institution. She had leftover Christmas cookies so I began snacking on them. They tasted a bit off so I inquired about the ingredients. She told me they only had white icing so she used Crayola markers to give them color. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 633

You deserved it 5 825