Love: Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm... - FML

By Tim - 03/08/2011 07:40 - United States

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 898

You deserved it 6 160

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Same thing different taste

Shy guy

By Big_gulps_huh - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I realized I am more confident running a million-dollar piece of construction equipment than I am around people of the opposite sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 918

You deserved it 544

By Female - 29/09/2016 03:26 - United States - Montebello

Today, I was excited to finally get an interview after being unemployed since getting out of the military nearly a year ago. Turns out, they weren't even interested in hiring me. They'd just never met a female Marine before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 470

You deserved it 822

By carboat - 28/01/2009 09:24 - United States

Today, I woke up and I'm still in the Marine Corps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 370

You deserved it 44 745

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 05:16 - United States - Davis

Today, I realized that I will be leaving for the US Marine Corps in June, and the presidential election is in November. I could potentially be serving with Trump as my Commander-in-Chief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 441

You deserved it 4 968

By Anonymous - 30/12/2009 17:47 - United States

Today, I realized the closest thing I have to guys hitting on me are the ones who ask to be my friend on Call of Duty because I have the word "girl" in my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 378

You deserved it 6 939

Frying pan, meet fire

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 22:00

Today, I got back from an 8 month deployment but rather than being pleased to see me my wife wanted to continue the same argument we were having the day I left. I miss being shot at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 137

Benefits

By Fitz - 05/05/2009 12:22 - United States

Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184 931

You deserved it 14 284

By S3R1AL K1LL3R X - 19/10/2010 04:21 - United States

Today, in my college class, our teacher asked us what we wanted to do when we get out of college. I guess being a U.S. Marine gets you a lecture for the whole class to hear that I'm a war hungry pig, and should get a real job that requires a brain. My job field is Aircraft repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 400

You deserved it 4 502

By saywhat - 26/01/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I met the girl who dumped me because the distance between us was too great. We're in the same city again. She's now dating a Marine in Iraq. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 132

You deserved it 2 823

Catch!

By Jaxter - 18/03/2009 05:41 - United States

Today, I was walking up to girlfriend's house when her terrifying Marine Corps dad threw a football at me. Not being very athletic, I surprised myself by catching it. He gestured for me throw it back and I watched it spiral wildy to the left and hit my girlfriend's mom in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 125

You deserved it 15 024

Next

Top comments

dc4 12

Wednesday 3 August 2011 15:55

Awww, that's cute :P

FreakinChaps 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 15:56

Girls aren't THAT scary...

Comments

perdix 29

Wednesday 3 August 2011 20:23

Yeah, a bullet wound is just a little hole, but if you succeed at talking to girls, you might wind up with one that has a ****** with teeth in it that'll bite your dick off -- scary! You go on fighting the terrorists, and leave the ladies to me -- we'll protect each other;) Ps: Thanks for your service.

whisper_White 6

Wednesday 3 August 2011 20:25

Girls LOVE service men. Just breathe and make a move!

crimsonbaby11 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 20:33

That's just too adorable!

fricknugget 3

Wednesday 3 August 2011 20:33

same man :(( its not easy 4 some people!!!!

trangster612 2

Wednesday 3 August 2011 20:37

Awww, thats soo cute!

nite66 21

Wednesday 3 August 2011 20:43

Girls are mire dangerous than bullets lol. You can dodge a bullet

mamadi_fml 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 20:44

If you're scares of girls, you might as well be gay and not afriad of men. Get a grip!! I'm sick of guys not making an approach to girls then post on craigslist hoping to see if they get the hints!!! SPEAK UP!!! OR BETTER YET, MAN UP!!

mamadi_fml 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 20:46

If you're scares of girls, you might as well be gay and not afriad of men. Get a grip!! I'm sick of guys not making an approach to girls then post on craigslist hoping to see if they get the hints!!! SPEAK UP!!! OR BETTER YET, MAN UP!!

9ghost4 4

Wednesday 3 August 2011 20:47

That's most guys

klong91 7

Wednesday 3 August 2011 20:51

That's cute :) But don't be afraid we're not going to eat you the worst thing that could happen is the girl doesn't want to talk to you.

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The Top

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said, "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 180

You deserved it 9 522

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 787

You deserved it 22 720

The Top

Today, I thought I was seeing double. My neighbours got a new dog, which is exactly the same as the other one, except that it hates me twice as much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 550

You deserved it 138

Today, at lunch I ordered a coke. The waiter replied "diet coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular coke." He shook his head and said again, "diet coke." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 188

You deserved it 8 855

Today, after my girlfriend had a nightmare this morning, I stayed home because she has really bad anxiety issues. A couple of hours later, she's pissed because I said I would stay up, but I fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 232

Today, while hurrying by bike to an appointment, my chain broke. I quickly got off the road and managed to fix it on the sidewalk, covering my hands in black smear. Dirty but confident about my repair skills, I got up. A second later, felt something warm running down my neck. Bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 928

You deserved it 130

Today, after waiting well over a month for a work visa in Germany that should only have taken 3 weeks to come through, I finally received my long-awaited answer. Unfortunately, that answer was "We lost your paperwork." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 721

You deserved it 2 630

Today, I took my girlfriend of three years on a romantic picnic to the park, so I could propose to her. The moment was just right, I made my move. I knelt down on one knee and asked her. Her response was "you're kneeling in dog poop." I looked down. She was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 812

You deserved it 5 454