Love: Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm...

By Tim - 03/08/2011 07:40 - United States

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 898

You deserved it 6 160

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Same thing different taste

Shy guy

By Big_gulps_huh - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I realized I am more confident running a million-dollar piece of construction equipment than I am around people of the opposite sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 918

You deserved it 544

By Female - 29/09/2016 03:26 - United States - Montebello

Today, I was excited to finally get an interview after being unemployed since getting out of the military nearly a year ago. Turns out, they weren't even interested in hiring me. They'd just never met a female Marine before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 470

You deserved it 822

By carboat - 28/01/2009 09:24 - United States

Today, I woke up and I'm still in the Marine Corps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 370

You deserved it 44 745

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 05:16 - United States - Davis

Today, I realized that I will be leaving for the US Marine Corps in June, and the presidential election is in November. I could potentially be serving with Trump as my Commander-in-Chief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 441

You deserved it 4 968

By Anonymous - 30/12/2009 17:47 - United States

Today, I realized the closest thing I have to guys hitting on me are the ones who ask to be my friend on Call of Duty because I have the word "girl" in my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 378

You deserved it 6 939

Frying pan, meet fire

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 22:00

Today, I got back from an 8 month deployment but rather than being pleased to see me my wife wanted to continue the same argument we were having the day I left. I miss being shot at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 137

Benefits

By Fitz - 05/05/2009 12:22 - United States

Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184 931

You deserved it 14 284

By S3R1AL K1LL3R X - 19/10/2010 04:21 - United States

Today, in my college class, our teacher asked us what we wanted to do when we get out of college. I guess being a U.S. Marine gets you a lecture for the whole class to hear that I'm a war hungry pig, and should get a real job that requires a brain. My job field is Aircraft repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 400

You deserved it 4 502

By saywhat - 26/01/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I met the girl who dumped me because the distance between us was too great. We're in the same city again. She's now dating a Marine in Iraq. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 132

You deserved it 2 823

Catch!

By Jaxter - 18/03/2009 05:41 - United States

Today, I was walking up to girlfriend's house when her terrifying Marine Corps dad threw a football at me. Not being very athletic, I surprised myself by catching it. He gestured for me throw it back and I watched it spiral wildy to the left and hit my girlfriend's mom in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 125

You deserved it 15 024

dc4 12

Wednesday 3 August 2011 15:55

Awww, that's cute :P

FreakinChaps 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 15:56

Girls aren't THAT scary...

Comments

Mipz 2

Wednesday 3 August 2011 20:55

That's adorable.

123Carafox 2

Wednesday 3 August 2011 21:01

that because you love men.

shyshy357 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 21:11

that's adorable!! tell a girl that and she'll probably think so too! ?

anthony_z2 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 21:19

Well here in the army we don't have the fear of females so you might be a puss

katyzero 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 21:38

Psh... Army fag

BigReds16 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 21:22

You can talk to me!

Ashimali 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 21:23

awww sweetie, not all of us are scary. Some are but not all. Thank you for serving btw :)

macsterfun 3

Wednesday 3 August 2011 21:23

Meh, the fat ones throw themselves at me anyways...

niswisk 3

Wednesday 3 August 2011 21:36

Thats adorable!!!

cristig 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 21:37

US marine?? there's your appeal right there!! girls melt for guys in uniform. ESPECIALLY Marines :)

Malkria 1

Wednesday 3 August 2011 21:37

Aww that's cute!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, some idiot kid teased and taunted me for weeping on my "already bad performance", recording it on his phone threatening to put it on social media. I was singing and playing the guitar, in front of my childhood sweetheart, and supposedly soon-to-be wife's grave. It was our song. I do this every year on this day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 108

Today, I had to place a call home because a student was late every single day. The mom rudely replied, “Yeah well she doesn’t really like getting up in the mornings. Can’t you just wait and start class like 30 minutes later?” Now I have to have a conference with this spoiled brat and her mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 510

You deserved it 104

The Top

Today, I finally got home after not seeing my husband for a few months because of work. He grew an enormous ginger moustache like Yosemite Sam. After months apart, we are now arguing because he refuses to shave and I refuse to kiss him until he does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 530

You deserved it 1 511

Today, I learned my neighbor can access my wireless printer from his house after it started printing off pictures of what I'm assuming is his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 130

You deserved it 7 726

Today, I found out the real reason why my brother wasn't at his fiancé's Halloween party. He's been in jail for the past 3 months. When was anyone going to tell me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 503

You deserved it 3 178

Today, my wife started checking her email on her Blackberry while we were having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 050

You deserved it 10 588

Today, at work, there was some teenage hoodlums outside in our parking lot. When I tell them to leave, one of the bigger guys steps up and says "I'll kick your ass!". I yell "No balls!", to the teen. He then whips me to the ground and sits on my face, proving to me that he did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 649

You deserved it 51 853

Today, I learned the hard way not to keep my own cash in my pocket while working as a cashier, when I was forced to give $30 to a scamming customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 450

You deserved it 2 882