Love: Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm...

By Tim - 03/08/2011 07:40 - United States

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 898

You deserved it 6 160

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Same thing different taste

Shy guy

By Big_gulps_huh - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I realized I am more confident running a million-dollar piece of construction equipment than I am around people of the opposite sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 918

You deserved it 544

By Female - 29/09/2016 03:26 - United States - Montebello

Today, I was excited to finally get an interview after being unemployed since getting out of the military nearly a year ago. Turns out, they weren't even interested in hiring me. They'd just never met a female Marine before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 470

You deserved it 822

By carboat - 28/01/2009 09:24 - United States

Today, I woke up and I'm still in the Marine Corps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 370

You deserved it 44 745

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 05:16 - United States - Davis

Today, I realized that I will be leaving for the US Marine Corps in June, and the presidential election is in November. I could potentially be serving with Trump as my Commander-in-Chief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 441

You deserved it 4 968

By Anonymous - 30/12/2009 17:47 - United States

Today, I realized the closest thing I have to guys hitting on me are the ones who ask to be my friend on Call of Duty because I have the word "girl" in my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 378

You deserved it 6 939

Frying pan, meet fire

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 22:00

Today, I got back from an 8 month deployment but rather than being pleased to see me my wife wanted to continue the same argument we were having the day I left. I miss being shot at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 137

Benefits

By Fitz - 05/05/2009 12:22 - United States

Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184 931

You deserved it 14 284

By S3R1AL K1LL3R X - 19/10/2010 04:21 - United States

Today, in my college class, our teacher asked us what we wanted to do when we get out of college. I guess being a U.S. Marine gets you a lecture for the whole class to hear that I'm a war hungry pig, and should get a real job that requires a brain. My job field is Aircraft repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 400

You deserved it 4 502

By saywhat - 26/01/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I met the girl who dumped me because the distance between us was too great. We're in the same city again. She's now dating a Marine in Iraq. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 132

You deserved it 2 823

Catch!

By Jaxter - 18/03/2009 05:41 - United States

Today, I was walking up to girlfriend's house when her terrifying Marine Corps dad threw a football at me. Not being very athletic, I surprised myself by catching it. He gestured for me throw it back and I watched it spiral wildy to the left and hit my girlfriend's mom in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 125

You deserved it 15 024

dc4 12

Wednesday 3 August 2011 15:55

Awww, that's cute :P

FreakinChaps 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 15:56

Girls aren't THAT scary...

Comments

soldier6490 1

Wednesday 3 August 2011 21:43

you are not the only one dude. More men are afraid of asking a girl out than they let in

sliver860 3

Wednesday 3 August 2011 21:53

maybe you should stop trying to tell everyone your a marine and try and sound tough when your clearly not

NBS93 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 21:55

Thank you for your service.

NBS93 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 21:55

Thank you for your service.

pdon3585 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 22:00

They are very scary

herrerwl 2

Wednesday 3 August 2011 22:01

thank you for your service!

knicole1234 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 22:06

You'd be a great boyfriend. No jealousy issues there

Emilyy92 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 22:17

that's actually really cute :)

ElyshaPaige 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 22:20

girls love Marine guys, especially when they are in their dress blues. go for it.

Theguy614 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 22:25

shut up boot

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The Top

Today, I found out my husband of four years has been cheating on me with his boss, who had been kind and treated me well. I never suspected it until I caught them in OUR bed. All he would ever do was come home and complain about how hard his job was. I guess that wasn't the only thing that was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 168

Today, I laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted, which caused me to choke on my Coke, which then caused me to fall off my chair. The joke wasn’t even that funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 221

The Top

Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 932

You deserved it 5 287

Today, I dropped in on my wife at her part time waitressing job. As I was leaving, I gave her tushie a playful squeeze. I was then tackled by some acne-ridden teenage blockhead trying to impress the hot waitress by beating up the guy groping her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 860

You deserved it 2 759

Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 699

You deserved it 6 916

Today, my wife let two Jehovah's Witnesses in for a chat, then deliberately went to a neighbour's for "Two minutes," and left me with them for half-an-hour, with them refusing to take my hints to leave. In the end, I told them to fuck off, just as the wife arrived home, and she got mad at me for being rude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 838

You deserved it 224

Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 407

You deserved it 12 894

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs while delivering a pizza, and severely sprained my ankle. The guy looked at me lying there, and shut the door in my face. I then got told to "Suck it up, Princess" by my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 188

You deserved it 3 475