Love: Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm... - FML

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By Tim - 03/08/2011 07:40 - United States

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 905

You deserved it 6 160

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Same thing different taste

Shy guy

By Big_gulps_huh - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I realized I am more confident running a million-dollar piece of construction equipment than I am around people of the opposite sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 924

You deserved it 551

By Female - 29/09/2016 03:26 - United States - Montebello

Today, I was excited to finally get an interview after being unemployed since getting out of the military nearly a year ago. Turns out, they weren't even interested in hiring me. They'd just never met a female Marine before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 479

You deserved it 824

By carboat - 28/01/2009 09:24 - United States

Today, I woke up and I'm still in the Marine Corps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 378

You deserved it 44 756

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 05:16 - United States - Davis

Today, I realized that I will be leaving for the US Marine Corps in June, and the presidential election is in November. I could potentially be serving with Trump as my Commander-in-Chief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 451

You deserved it 4 976

By Anonymous - 30/12/2009 17:47 - United States

Today, I realized the closest thing I have to guys hitting on me are the ones who ask to be my friend on Call of Duty because I have the word "girl" in my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 383

You deserved it 6 940

Frying pan, meet fire

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 22:00

Today, I got back from an 8 month deployment but rather than being pleased to see me my wife wanted to continue the same argument we were having the day I left. I miss being shot at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 141

Benefits

By Fitz - 05/05/2009 12:22 - United States

Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184 949

You deserved it 14 286

Smooth brainrot

By S3R1AL K1LL3R X - 19/10/2010 04:21 - United States

Today, in my college class, our teacher asked us what we wanted to do when we get out of college. I guess being a U.S. Marine gets you a lecture for the whole class to hear that I'm a war hungry pig, and should get a real job that requires a brain. My job field is Aircraft repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 410

You deserved it 4 511

By saywhat - 26/01/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I met the girl who dumped me because the distance between us was too great. We're in the same city again. She's now dating a Marine in Iraq. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 136

You deserved it 2 824

Catch!

By Jaxter - 18/03/2009 05:41 - United States

Today, I was walking up to girlfriend's house when her terrifying Marine Corps dad threw a football at me. Not being very athletic, I surprised myself by catching it. He gestured for me throw it back and I watched it spiral wildy to the left and hit my girlfriend's mom in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 132

You deserved it 15 027

Next

Top comments

dc4 12

Wednesday 3 August 2011 15:55

Awww, that's cute :P

FreakinChaps 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 15:56

Girls aren't THAT scary...

Comments

summerlove23 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 19:05

I find that cute. Hahha

supaman36 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 19:07

wow that sucks Devil

jessesgirl14 16

Wednesday 3 August 2011 19:16

Hey alot of girls dig military dudes! Girls like dudes in uniform ;)

kellers24 1

Wednesday 3 August 2011 19:18

I love my marine

kaylapple 1

Wednesday 3 August 2011 19:20

girls arent scary.

wellthatsunfortu 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 19:21

sweetie, you're a marine, girls should be coming at you like crazy.

vballchck 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 19:23

thanks for your service!

Kain47 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 19:24

Hey there devil dog, coming from someone who's been there, all you need to do is show that confident attitude, that swagger that people think of when they talk about the Marine Corps, and you won't have to worry about it. Women will start talking to YOU. Just don't overthink it, killer.

smoke_eater05 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 19:37

haha. welcome to the club.

stillfedupfromla 3

Wednesday 3 August 2011 19:39

0341: Girls are easy to talk to, I have one working in my S-1.

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The Top

Today, my son is going through a rebellious phase. He's taken to wearing leather and chains, listening to death metal music all day in his room alone, and screaming at me in public places. He was fired from his part-time job for swearing at customers. My son is 29 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 220

You deserved it 13 921

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex yet, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite." Now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 881

You deserved it 5 013

The Top

Today, I went to confession. I told the priest that I had an intimate relationship with a woman that I'm not married to. He chuckled and said, "You know, lying is a sin too." I wasn't lying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 672

You deserved it 9 581

Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 953

You deserved it 15 813

Today, I was taking the metro into DC for my internship. Two guys came in and started talking to each other in Arabic. One boy turned to the other said "Do you think shes cute?" The other responded "Her face is hideous but she has nice tits." I am fluent in Arabic. They were looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 370

You deserved it 5 441

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. I arrived early and waited for him for over an hour. When he finally showed up, he was wearing the exact same outfit as me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 202

Today, due to some serious health and financial issues, I literally have no choice but to have my mom watch my kids. She's turned my son into the most spoiled insufferable brat, I can’t stand it. Then I feel like I’m punishing him at home for what his grandmother enforces in hers. I don't know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 193

Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 119