Miscellaneous: Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends... - FML

By rainydays79 - 23/01/2010 19:12 - United States

Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 434

You deserved it 60 060

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Same thing different taste

By Cheyenne - 11/07/2010 06:06 - United States

Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 314

You deserved it 3 707

Getting on

By Anonymous - 23/06/2020 17:01

Today, I’m at the stage of my life where a normal bowel movement is practically a cause for celebration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 446

You deserved it 156

By shroooms - 28/07/2011 20:37 - Slovenia

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 730

You deserved it 3 076

Eww, roommate from hell

By jill - 10/03/2021 05:01

Today, I discovered that when I sleep, I go to the bathroom to poop and don’t flush the toilet. I live with three roommates who all wake up before I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 355

Famous for something

By leaflady03 - 27/04/2021 00:30

Today, my mom won’t stop calling up all her friends and family and even telling complete strangers about my "bowel problems." Even at parties, she talks about my pooping habits every chance she gets. This isn’t what I want to be known for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 189

You deserved it 110

Phantom pooper

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 17:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, all of my roommates were home. I really had to poop all day but the bathroom was being hogged. Once I finally got the chance to go, I guess the toilet didn't flush all the way and I didn't notice. The other roommates loudly asked each other who it was, and they all started loudly taking about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 428

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 10:30 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 609

You deserved it 9 158

Two speeds

By Anonymous - 03/09/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I've realized that I have two modes: Constipated, or ultra explosive diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 66

Anaconda

By lizbeth - 23/05/2021 04:01

Today, I took a massive shit and flushed the toilet, but it apparently didn’t flush properly. My mom then entered the bathroom, took a picture of my shit, and showed it to everyone she knows. She doesn’t understand why I’m embarrassed, and thinks that I should instead "take pride" in my giant poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 957

You deserved it 234

By public pooper - 25/04/2013 00:16 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 401

You deserved it 15 243

Next

Top comments

Seventytimeseven 0

Saturday 23 January 2010 23:09

Among your group of friends? You really think your soloness is exclusive to that group? I think you're probably just straight up alone there

intensitive 11

Saturday 23 January 2010 23:09

Do you cry after flushing away your friends?

Comments

stormin972 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 0:18

You're ******** me.

metazoanhaddock 11

Sunday 24 January 2010 8:45

win

HappyFishh 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 0:24

I'm pretty sure the only one in the world who does that..ROFLMAO!!

eriyana8 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 0:26

(I'm u) -looks on potty- " wow..hm... I'm gonna name u bob,u Stephanie, and u Alex. well, I guess I'm gonna have to let u guys go..-sob sob- I'll miss u!!!

Alex373 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 0:27

#14 is pure win

NorfolkDude 2

Sunday 24 January 2010 0:29

Name your bowel movements? You mean like you say, "I'm going to the library?" Or do you say actual names like I'm gonna drop a Steven? If so, it's not too weird, but probably not a lot of people near you do it.

davidhasmorefun 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 0:45

do you name them like hurricanes?

aback 4

Sunday 24 January 2010 3:04

Oh, God. I've had a few that bad.

perdix 29

Sunday 24 January 2010 7:49

I heard Tina Turner names all of hers "Ike." My people in Houston ought to like that one!

sk8allday92 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 0:45

i'm pretty sure ur the only person in the whole damn universe who does that u ******* weirdo

terriibabiiix23 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 0:47

YDI it for being sooo ******* weridd.

123e3 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 0:57

You're gay.

Stifferz 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 1:08

An Anon Friend Says Thats One For The Folder?

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The Top

Today, my obsession with Polish women tried to "graduate" and become my religion. The obsession I had caught from hearing other dudes' ethnic fetishes online was about to become the start of a New Religious Movement. Now I'm stuck with the realization that I have an incredibly cringey brain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 568

Today, I was giving a speech at a conference when halfway through I got a sudden case of hiccups. For the next 5 minutes I tried to finish my presentation while hiccuping uncontrollably. The audience found it hilarious and started cheering each time I hiccuped. I’m convinced no one could tell me what the speech was actually about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 80

The Top

Today, I was wondering why my cheap and overall great apartment had been available for so long. After some research, it's now pretty clear: my landlord is, apparently, a well-known slumlord. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 309

You deserved it 1 400

Today, I lost all of my male friends at work. Why? The new girl has my same interests and a prettier face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 861

You deserved it 3 019

Today, after many months of physical therapy for my broken ankle and months of going to college with crutches, my doctor suddenly noticed that my bones hadn't grown together properly. I'm going to have to have another surgery and redo my entire year in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 172

You deserved it 160

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 572

You deserved it 3 648

Today, I told my boyfriend of ten months that I'm not ready for marriage. A few hours later he proposed at my grandma's 85th birthday party. She cried when I said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 782

You deserved it 11 651

Today, I tried to have a relaxing soak in the tub. The giant wolf spider that was already in the tub didn't like me trying to set it free outside. It ran right across my feet and back into my house when I dumped it out of a cup outside. I screamed like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 682

You deserved it 2 476