Miscellaneous: Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends... - FML

By rainydays79 - 23/01/2010 19:12 - United States

Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 432

You deserved it 60 055

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Same thing different taste

By Cheyenne - 11/07/2010 06:06 - United States

Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 310

You deserved it 3 705

Getting on

By Anonymous - 23/06/2020 17:01

Today, I’m at the stage of my life where a normal bowel movement is practically a cause for celebration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 156

By shroooms - 28/07/2011 20:37 - Slovenia

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 728

You deserved it 3 074

Eww, roommate from hell

By jill - 10/03/2021 05:01

Today, I discovered that when I sleep, I go to the bathroom to poop and don’t flush the toilet. I live with three roommates who all wake up before I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 354

Famous for something

By leaflady03 - 27/04/2021 00:30

Today, my mom won’t stop calling up all her friends and family and even telling complete strangers about my "bowel problems." Even at parties, she talks about my pooping habits every chance she gets. This isn’t what I want to be known for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 183

You deserved it 108

Phantom pooper

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 17:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, all of my roommates were home. I really had to poop all day but the bathroom was being hogged. Once I finally got the chance to go, I guess the toilet didn't flush all the way and I didn't notice. The other roommates loudly asked each other who it was, and they all started loudly taking about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 426

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 10:30 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 606

You deserved it 9 156

Two speeds

By Anonymous - 03/09/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I've realized that I have two modes: Constipated, or ultra explosive diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 66

Anaconda

By lizbeth - 23/05/2021 04:01

Today, I took a massive shit and flushed the toilet, but it apparently didn’t flush properly. My mom then entered the bathroom, took a picture of my shit, and showed it to everyone she knows. She doesn’t understand why I’m embarrassed, and thinks that I should instead "take pride" in my giant poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 234

By public pooper - 25/04/2013 00:16 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 398

You deserved it 15 240

Next

Top comments

Seventytimeseven 0

Saturday 23 January 2010 23:09

Among your group of friends? You really think your soloness is exclusive to that group? I think you're probably just straight up alone there

intensitive 11

Saturday 23 January 2010 23:09

Do you cry after flushing away your friends?

Comments

waterynuggets 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 1:16

............ Wat? Who gives a shit. ;D

FernandoTorres_fml 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 1:24

The worst part is flushing :')

summerloolooloo 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 2:19

So do you have funerals at every flush? I would love to see that. Weirdo.

maskedman 9

Sunday 24 January 2010 2:27

We should cut the OP some slack. Have we all forgotten that around Christmas a special poo pays a visit to all of us? Mr. Hankey still exists doesn't he? Doesn't he?

DonkeyDelight 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 2:34

What, you mean you expected them too aswell?

ilikepie789 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 2:47

lol u name ur crap? ever named one julio?

GoatNuts 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 2:49

lololololllolllol #14 rapes all

dv2010 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 3:04

Who does that?! All I have to say is WOW

jasonsaied 1

Sunday 24 January 2010 3:06

um WTF?

johnw11 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 3:20

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Today, my allergies flared up and I started sneezing. I guess my girlfriend was having a bad day, because she lost her shit and started telling me how annoying I am and how I can never do anything right. I'm not sure if we're still a couple, because she stormed out and won't answer my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 014

You deserved it 3 325

Today, I’ve been threatened with a lawsuit for refusing to treat a patient. I had to refuse her because she brought a huge hairy dog with her that she falsely claimed was her service animal. Not only am I deathly allergic to dogs, the damn thing shat in my waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 73

The Top

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 388

You deserved it 8 340

Today, after spending 12 hours desperately searching everywhere I could think of, I'm forced to admit I left my wedding ring in the bathroom of the hotel suite we just spent our honeymoon in, on the literal other side of the planet. I am a dead man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 270

You deserved it 1 398

Today, I fired all 12 of my employees, purely out of anger and frustration. Realizing my mistake when I'd calmed down, I called each employee and apologized, asking if they'd come back. Only one said yes. The mailroom clerk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 6 576

Today, while I was taking a long relaxing shower, the shower head decided to fly off and hit me in the face. The dentist couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 548

You deserved it 5 026

Today, I had just opened up some porn on my laptop when my mom walked into my room, so I slammed the laptop shut. I didn't know the speakers continue to function after the laptop is closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 617

You deserved it 50 532

Today, I walked into a public restroom and, to my utter surprise, saw a lady squeezing blood out of used tampons. We made eye contact, she continued, and I ran out in horror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 682

You deserved it 306