Intimacy: Today, I realized that it has been so long since my wife and...

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By therevsev - 02/10/2011 06:05 - United States

Today, I realized that it has been so long since my wife and I were intimate that I got slightly turned on watching her suck the meat off chicken wings. I'm jealous of fried, sauce-soaked poultry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 630

You deserved it 5 092

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Same thing different taste

Cravings

By Anonymous - 22/05/2019 02:04

Today, it's been so long since my wife has been interested in me intimately, I became aroused when a woman touched my arm while talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 439

You deserved it 246

Please don't do that

By keep away from my bird! - 02/05/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I caught my girlfriend slowly and deliberately eating chicken wings while sitting in front of the cage while making eye contact with my beloved bird. When she saw me staring at her in horror, she let out the creepiest, most maniacal laugh I’ve ever heard. What the actual fuck?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 259

Dirty mind

By Anonymous - 11/12/2015 20:24 - United States - Porter

Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 626

You deserved it 4 707

Quick as rainbows

By bonehead69 - 31/05/2015 07:06 - United States - Taylorville

Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 700

You deserved it 5 406

By Username - 18/03/2010 08:21 - France

Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 600

You deserved it 49 875

By Anonymous - 21/12/2012 17:24 - United States - Newnan

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 916

You deserved it 10 082

By isoheartcaitlin - 25/08/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 381

You deserved it 6 168

No kink-shaming on FML

By thedoc - 15/07/2014 03:25 - United States - Amarillo

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 576

You deserved it 6 961

I'm horny, horny horny horny

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 12:00

Today, I got home horny as all ready to jump my husband, until I saw him asleep in his armchair with his gut hanging out his belt, his dinner down his vest, no pants on, and scratching his balls in his sleep. I’m no longer horny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 379

You deserved it 368

By 404: fuck not given - 23/11/2014 16:34 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 069

You deserved it 5 598

iheartbewbies 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 12:37

Drink a redbull. I heard it gives you wings. Then maybe she'll suck the meat out of you. Sigh... I tried.

perdix 29

Sunday 2 October 2011 12:41

Slightly turned on? I'm exceptionally turned on by the image of your wife sucking meat off bones. Of course, she was doing something similar to me last night, so the symbolism is more obvious to me. Sorry, bro.

Comments

Joey44 15

Sunday 2 October 2011 14:07

There's this useful thing that people do in relationships. It's called communication. You should try it some time. I hear it's great.

Joey44 15

Sunday 2 October 2011 16:14

Oh man, I can feel how proud you are of that comment from here. Give yourself a pat on the back, you deserve it.

Senior29 8

Sunday 2 October 2011 14:09

umm, watch some **** n stuff?

goldiefox 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 14:16

Yes, yes...that's sounds very nice. Maybe she was trying to tell you something?

hannahcorrine 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 14:28

It happens OP

laxerswag180 4

Sunday 2 October 2011 14:54

ask her if she wants to suck somthing else

ChristinaAAR 14

Sunday 2 October 2011 14:55

Well... Why don't you just be romantic take her out for dinner buy her jewelry and light candles? It ain't that hard dude.

a_nutritionist 10

Monday 3 October 2011 13:48

because hookers are cheaper and less time consuming than that shit. plus, theyll do what you want rather than complain when you do something wrong. its win-win. goodluck finding a guy whos gonna give you jewellery every time he wants to ****, and goodluck to him for dating the biggest materialistic bitch on the planet.

ChristinaAAR 14

Monday 3 October 2011 15:31

Ok asshole, so you think that he should get a hooker instead of being romantic to his wife? You are one seriously disturbed bastard. And it's losers like you that make women not trust men anymore. Fucktard.

a_nutritionist 10

Tuesday 4 October 2011 22:38

youre not a woman. you also need to pick an insult and stick with it, you sound like you have tourettes. your parents must be proud.

Cinn_fml 22

Tuesday 4 October 2011 23:36

So must yours, or at least based on some of the tripe I've heard you spew. Also, what does their gender have to do with anything?

ChristinaAAR 14

Wednesday 5 October 2011 14:39

Yes I am a woman and u are a douche. Your parents must be so proud that they raised a boy who likes hookers. congrats for being the biggest loser on this site