Intimacy: Today, I realized that it has been so long since my wife and...

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By therevsev - 02/10/2011 06:05 - United States

Today, I realized that it has been so long since my wife and I were intimate that I got slightly turned on watching her suck the meat off chicken wings. I'm jealous of fried, sauce-soaked poultry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 630

You deserved it 5 092

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
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Same thing different taste

Cravings

By Anonymous - 22/05/2019 02:04

Today, it's been so long since my wife has been interested in me intimately, I became aroused when a woman touched my arm while talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 439

You deserved it 246

Please don't do that

By keep away from my bird! - 02/05/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I caught my girlfriend slowly and deliberately eating chicken wings while sitting in front of the cage while making eye contact with my beloved bird. When she saw me staring at her in horror, she let out the creepiest, most maniacal laugh I’ve ever heard. What the actual fuck?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 259

Dirty mind

By Anonymous - 11/12/2015 20:24 - United States - Porter

Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 626

You deserved it 4 707

Quick as rainbows

By bonehead69 - 31/05/2015 07:06 - United States - Taylorville

Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 700

You deserved it 5 406

By Username - 18/03/2010 08:21 - France

Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 600

You deserved it 49 875

By Anonymous - 21/12/2012 17:24 - United States - Newnan

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 916

You deserved it 10 082

By isoheartcaitlin - 25/08/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 381

You deserved it 6 168

No kink-shaming on FML

By thedoc - 15/07/2014 03:25 - United States - Amarillo

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 576

You deserved it 6 961

I'm horny, horny horny horny

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 12:00

Today, I got home horny as all ready to jump my husband, until I saw him asleep in his armchair with his gut hanging out his belt, his dinner down his vest, no pants on, and scratching his balls in his sleep. I’m no longer horny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 379

You deserved it 368

By 404: fuck not given - 23/11/2014 16:34 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 069

You deserved it 5 598

iheartbewbies 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 12:37

Drink a redbull. I heard it gives you wings. Then maybe she'll suck the meat out of you. Sigh... I tried.

perdix 29

Sunday 2 October 2011 12:41

Slightly turned on? I'm exceptionally turned on by the image of your wife sucking meat off bones. Of course, she was doing something similar to me last night, so the symbolism is more obvious to me. Sorry, bro.

Comments

HideouslyHuman 10

Sunday 2 October 2011 17:06

I'm sorry,but all of your comments get thumbed in the downward direction...Why do you keep commenting things?:-(

havocmike 3

Sunday 2 October 2011 17:58

She sounds fat. So do you.

SMAHIN510 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 19:00

your patetic that u went that low

MEXIKANO 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 19:10

So u ********** while watching ur hamster

kittyLoveZombiez 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 19:54

What's Fried sauce soaked poultry ?

Jujubilee 1

Sunday 2 October 2011 20:03

Just cover your junk in BBQ sauce!

SimpleMinds_fml 7

Sunday 2 October 2011 20:22

Anyone that uses a fleshlight is a loser. Anyone that watches *********** is a sick ****. Anyone that likes to **** animals is a disturbed, nasty ******* waste of a human.

Palirose 22

Sunday 2 October 2011 20:49

90- are you sure? If do my life no longer has meaning. Lool

teh_uber_muffin 3

Sunday 2 October 2011 21:05

My chicken brings all the boys to the yard and damn right, it's better than yours. Damn right, it's better than yours. I would treat you but I'd have to charge. Yeah. I went there.