Intimacy: Today, I realized that it has been so long since my wife and...

By therevsev - 02/10/2011 06:05 - United States

Today, I realized that it has been so long since my wife and I were intimate that I got slightly turned on watching her suck the meat off chicken wings. I'm jealous of fried, sauce-soaked poultry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 618

You deserved it 5 088

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Same thing different taste

Cravings

By Anonymous - 22/05/2019 02:04

Today, it's been so long since my wife has been interested in me intimately, I became aroused when a woman touched my arm while talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 433

You deserved it 244

Please don't do that

By keep away from my bird! - 02/05/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I caught my girlfriend slowly and deliberately eating chicken wings while sitting in front of the cage while making eye contact with my beloved bird. When she saw me staring at her in horror, she let out the creepiest, most maniacal laugh I’ve ever heard. What the actual fuck?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 255

Dirty mind

By Anonymous - 11/12/2015 20:24 - United States - Porter

Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 615

You deserved it 4 706

Quick as rainbows

By bonehead69 - 31/05/2015 07:06 - United States - Taylorville

Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 692

You deserved it 5 401

By Username - 18/03/2010 08:21 - France

Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 583

You deserved it 49 797

By Anonymous - 21/12/2012 17:24 - United States - Newnan

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 912

You deserved it 10 079

By isoheartcaitlin - 25/08/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 372

You deserved it 6 168

No kink-shaming on FML

By thedoc - 15/07/2014 03:25 - United States - Amarillo

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 564

You deserved it 6 960

I'm horny, horny horny horny

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 12:00

Today, I got home horny as all ready to jump my husband, until I saw him asleep in his armchair with his gut hanging out his belt, his dinner down his vest, no pants on, and scratching his balls in his sleep. I’m no longer horny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 371

You deserved it 364

By 404: fuck not given - 23/11/2014 16:34 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 056

You deserved it 5 594

iheartbewbies 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 12:37

Drink a redbull. I heard it gives you wings. Then maybe she'll suck the meat out of you. Sigh... I tried.

perdix 29

Sunday 2 October 2011 12:41

Slightly turned on? I'm exceptionally turned on by the image of your wife sucking meat off bones. Of course, she was doing something similar to me last night, so the symbolism is more obvious to me. Sorry, bro.

Comments

daydreamer244 13

Sunday 2 October 2011 21:25

at least chicken got lucky.

streetclosed 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 22:13

Meant that for Keevarou

drloves69 4

Sunday 2 October 2011 21:28

She was sucking **** meat that wasn't yours*gasp*

Laxinitup 18

Sunday 2 October 2011 22:27

I don't post much but that sir is full of win! So funny. Literally made me laugh out loud. I tip my hat to you.

kristen69 0

Monday 3 October 2011 8:16

Sweet!!! Lmfao

saddenedham 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 23:03

Same for me ;___;

picturescrazy 24

Sunday 2 October 2011 23:24

HAWT. Go have sex with her. Problem solved.

ifmlftw 0

Monday 3 October 2011 0:12

dude. jerk

landooooo 5

Monday 3 October 2011 2:42

Do the same thing to the chicken breasts. See how SHE likes it.

leadsails320 0

Monday 3 October 2011 3:31

what the ****..

EvilPotato 14

Monday 3 October 2011 4:45

3 whenever I see a comment thumbed down I usually guess who the author is, my favorite person to guess used to be PurpleRae, but she hasn't been on in a while so now you just took her place.