Intimacy: Today, I realized that it has been so long since my wife and...

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By therevsev - 02/10/2011 06:05 - United States

Today, I realized that it has been so long since my wife and I were intimate that I got slightly turned on watching her suck the meat off chicken wings. I'm jealous of fried, sauce-soaked poultry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 630

You deserved it 5 092

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By Anonymous - 22/05/2019 02:04

Today, it's been so long since my wife has been interested in me intimately, I became aroused when a woman touched my arm while talking to me. FML

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By keep away from my bird! - 02/05/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I caught my girlfriend slowly and deliberately eating chicken wings while sitting in front of the cage while making eye contact with my beloved bird. When she saw me staring at her in horror, she let out the creepiest, most maniacal laugh I’ve ever heard. What the actual fuck?! FML

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Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML

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By bonehead69 - 31/05/2015 07:06 - United States - Taylorville

Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML

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By Username - 18/03/2010 08:21 - France

Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 600

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By Anonymous - 21/12/2012 17:24 - United States - Newnan

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 916

You deserved it 10 082

By isoheartcaitlin - 25/08/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 381

You deserved it 6 168

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By thedoc - 15/07/2014 03:25 - United States - Amarillo

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 576

You deserved it 6 961

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By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 12:00

Today, I got home horny as all ready to jump my husband, until I saw him asleep in his armchair with his gut hanging out his belt, his dinner down his vest, no pants on, and scratching his balls in his sleep. I’m no longer horny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 379

You deserved it 368

By 404: fuck not given - 23/11/2014 16:34 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 069

You deserved it 5 598

iheartbewbies 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 12:37

Drink a redbull. I heard it gives you wings. Then maybe she'll suck the meat out of you. Sigh... I tried.

perdix 29

Sunday 2 October 2011 12:41

Slightly turned on? I'm exceptionally turned on by the image of your wife sucking meat off bones. Of course, she was doing something similar to me last night, so the symbolism is more obvious to me. Sorry, bro.

Comments

ikickgingers 15

Sunday 2 October 2011 15:38

Is it wrong that this fml slightly turns me on??

Enslaved 36

Sunday 2 October 2011 15:51

I am too. Every time I witness a girl eating wings especially -the flats..... I always think....Haha, two bones in her mouth at once. :O

paigeme 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 15:49

You mean fried poultry soaked in sauce. Never heard of fried sauce soaked I'm poultry lmao

teacher25 3

Sunday 2 October 2011 15:51

Just whip your man part out and put it in her face and tell her to suck. Might actually work.

ikickgingers 15

Sunday 2 October 2011 16:12

Well teacher... When people say man parts or lady bits I laugh hysterically. I'd personally vote for word use such as; ****.

teacher25 3

Monday 3 October 2011 1:46

Well, I didnt want to offend anyone by using the word ****.

Comet_Candy 23

Sunday 2 October 2011 15:51

A cat is fine too.

jellenwood 35

Sunday 2 October 2011 16:13

That's sick and sad at the same time.

kristen69 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 16:21

HAVE SEX WITH HER THEN!!!!

frank678 7

Sunday 2 October 2011 16:26

I think you mean "poultry soaked in fried sauce."

JinxosGirl87 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 16:36

Tell her that you get turned on by her, make her feel sexy and she might get confidence enough to put out. If you're going to sit there silently jacking off during dinner and she doesn't know you have a problem with the lack of sex, you're not helping the situation.