Miscellaneous: Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with...

By Anonymous - 10/03/2013 00:40 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 990

You deserved it 5 566

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

PTSD

By Anonymous - 05/10/2009 17:28 - United States

Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/surprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 478

You deserved it 45 172

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 18:45 - United States

Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 284

You deserved it 79 715

By Nick - 22/08/2010 23:33 - France

Today, I got tased, with the same taser I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 014

You deserved it 8 257

By Ducati - 10/08/2009 02:13 - United States

Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 863

You deserved it 13 478

Fast response

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 577

You deserved it 4 276

By PoopTart - 29/04/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 176

You deserved it 14 811

By Username - 09/02/2011 03:27

Today, I got mugged. But luckily I had on my keyring the pepper spray that my husband had insisted I keep with me. Unlucky for me, my husband's co-worker, who borrowed my keys, emptied my pepper by spraying it on a brick wall one day when he was bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 399

You deserved it 3 127

By badtrip - 03/03/2009 03:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 298

You deserved it 33 483

Zapped

By joey - 09/03/2020 05:00

Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 852

You deserved it 157

Blind rage

By prickly - 11/10/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 046

You deserved it 2 858

waffule365 16

Sunday 10 March 2013 9:11

at least your friends being helpful?

theWanderer011 11

Sunday 10 March 2013 9:20

Ahahaha! Your friend's a joker, mate. A taser won't help you here!

Comments

Pokeracid 7

Sunday 10 March 2013 9:33

This is funny because I live in South Africa... hahahaha

420Zombie 17

Sunday 10 March 2013 17:07

I'm sure you'll still be laughing it up when you're getting raped then?

tialeanne 19

Sunday 10 March 2013 9:35

Seems normal to me considering I carry a knife and pepper spray with me everywhere I go...

420Zombie 17

Sunday 10 March 2013 17:09

true that, many women of every country carry concealable weapons like that

tialeanne 19

Monday 11 March 2013 8:43

And I don't see anything wrong with it! No matter who or where you are, you should always carry a weapon of self-defense. In my opinion, obviously.

Johnnie_Snow 12

Monday 8 April 2013 16:47

#122 I completely agree. It doesn't matter if you're in Africa or Antarctica. Safe is better than sorry.

spaboolly 26

Sunday 10 March 2013 9:41

It's always a good idea to be aware of local crime statistics when travelling to an area you are (presumably) not very familiar with. Seems like she is just looking out for you to make sure you are prepared. Ignorance of danger does not make it go away.

oj101 33

Sunday 10 March 2013 9:42

Actually OP, I think you'll appreciate it. My friend lives in SA- it's a beautiful country but it has so many problems, especially in the cities. They live in one of the nicer neighborhoods, but electric barbed wires, sleeping next to a pistol and having 2 pit bulls seem to be the norm. There is an intense fear of crime everyday for all aspects of society. The only truly safe spots are tourist hideaways and safaris/or private farms. But have a nice time OP- it's a beautiful place nevertheless, just be careful of when, where and how you go out.

diversgal 9

Sunday 10 March 2013 11:56

No tourist places are more dangerous actually! I am South African, I know this for fact. It's one of the highest crime countries in the world.

MiloBear 11

Sunday 10 March 2013 16:50

I have to say, barbed wire is usually used in bad areas. I live in a nice neighbourhood in SA and there is no barbed wire around here, although there could be electric fences since I don't go around touching them. And my family refuses to have guns in the house, never owned a dog either. Your friend is paranoid.

stargirl_95 24

Sunday 10 March 2013 18:48

I've lived in South Africa my entire life and although we do have high walls, electric fencing, and alarm systems, I don't know anyone who owns a gun, and we don't own dogs. Sleeping next to a gun isn't really the norm here.

princesspuffypan 10

Sunday 10 March 2013 9:46

Truth!

KM96 24

Sunday 10 March 2013 9:54

Should you be alarmed?

RebornUnicorn 16

Sunday 10 March 2013 10:09

Well, it's better to be safe than sorry OP

tutikushi 10

Sunday 10 March 2013 10:10

I had a South African friend when I was living in East Sussex, she gave me a taser on my birthday, telling that it would help me protect myself. I did not understand what she meant until i visited her in SA and saw her beat the crap out of an unknown guy.