Miscellaneous: Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with...

By Anonymous - 10/03/2013 00:40 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 991

You deserved it 5 566

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Same thing different taste

PTSD

By Anonymous - 05/10/2009 17:28 - United States

Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/surprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 478

You deserved it 45 175

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 18:45 - United States

Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 284

You deserved it 79 716

By Nick - 22/08/2010 23:33 - France

Today, I got tased, with the same taser I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 014

You deserved it 8 258

By Ducati - 10/08/2009 02:13 - United States

Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 863

You deserved it 13 478

Fast response

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 577

You deserved it 4 276

By PoopTart - 29/04/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 176

You deserved it 14 811

By Username - 09/02/2011 03:27

Today, I got mugged. But luckily I had on my keyring the pepper spray that my husband had insisted I keep with me. Unlucky for me, my husband's co-worker, who borrowed my keys, emptied my pepper by spraying it on a brick wall one day when he was bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 399

You deserved it 3 128

By badtrip - 03/03/2009 03:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 299

You deserved it 33 484

Zapped

By joey - 09/03/2020 05:00

Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 853

You deserved it 157

Blind rage

By prickly - 11/10/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 046

You deserved it 2 858

waffule365 16

Sunday 10 March 2013 9:11

at least your friends being helpful?

theWanderer011 11

Sunday 10 March 2013 9:20

Ahahaha! Your friend's a joker, mate. A taser won't help you here!

Comments

BVBARMY1238 9

Sunday 10 March 2013 17:29

That's sweet. That's my kind of gift. A gift to protect me.

westboundcali 13

Sunday 10 March 2013 18:49

Makes you wonder.

xkncas 8

Sunday 10 March 2013 19:31

That's South Africa for you. It's not exactly a great place. :-/

Sasha92_fml 3

Wednesday 13 March 2013 11:58

And you would know how?

Zilchie14 6

Sunday 10 March 2013 19:45

I have lived in South Africa for 16 years of my life and I think it is amazing. It is definitely a unique kind of living :) Don't do anything that you wouldn't do anywhere else and you'll be fine.

pipc 10

Sunday 10 March 2013 21:38

Not even kidding, you'll probably need it.

chottu 16

Sunday 10 March 2013 21:53

I'm sorry but what did you think you were going to need in South Africa, it's one of the most dangerous places in the world. Did you not thoroughly research the country which you are going to stay in for two months?!