Intimacy: Today, I received an email from my girlfriend listing 10 ways...

By quick blow - 16/05/2012 02:53 - United States

Today, I received an email from my girlfriend listing 10 ways to stop premature ejaculation. Subtle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 937

You deserved it 7 370

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 16/11/2010 22:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me to Google how to last longer in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 863

You deserved it 11 680

I'm gonna come

By Anonymous - 27/09/2021 20:00

Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 173

You deserved it 349

By FreshDonuts - 28/02/2015 05:03 - United States - Antioch

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 334

You deserved it 6 277

By Ariel - 02/06/2009 12:19 - Israel

Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 408

You deserved it 7 767

By CoCo - 22/11/2008 04:03 - France

Today, my girlfriend came home with new condoms: Manix Endurance containing a numbing gel designed to help me "last longer". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 176

You deserved it 11 638

Fast and Furious

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 01:00

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 1 782

By thismakesmesad - 07/09/2011 16:16 - United States

Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 438

You deserved it 7 587

By Anonymous - 10/03/2015 23:15 - United States - Angleton

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 634

You deserved it 57 724

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 732

You deserved it 10 557

By stopinthenameoflove - 19/06/2014 14:37 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 092

You deserved it 15 455

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 16 May 2012 8:31

1) Think about Bieber 2) Think about Bieber 3) Think about Bieber Etc etc

DollyDope 17

Wednesday 16 May 2012 8:35

At least she is trying to work through it with you instead of simply cheating or dumping you!

Comments

spottyblanket 8

Wednesday 16 May 2012 10:11

So?

Caliborn_06 11

Wednesday 16 May 2012 11:01

Hahahahahaha!!!!

felisaa 5

Wednesday 16 May 2012 11:30

Better she try to help you out than leave you for not pleasing her

reddudeover 2

Wednesday 16 May 2012 12:30

Queue the training montage music and I'm your coach. **** push ups, 1 a day.

XxHoPPoxX 8

Wednesday 16 May 2012 12:50

Best movie...period

santel_fml 8

Wednesday 16 May 2012 12:43

Haha gold

juicifer 0

Wednesday 16 May 2012 12:59

Well fix it...seems like she still likes you enough to say something and give it another go...

thecovert 7

Wednesday 16 May 2012 13:11

Sounds like she's ready for the "Top 5 most effective ways to satisfy your man via oral sex" book as well.

Cowboy1986 4

Wednesday 16 May 2012 13:14

It's not a race sir you don't have to finish first everytime

perdix 29

Wednesday 16 May 2012 13:22

I'll bet you came after reading 3 of the ways :D

eccentrix 12

Wednesday 16 May 2012 13:41

Was it a joke email being forwarded to you that you took to heart?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 115

You deserved it 3 104

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 279

You deserved it 3 577

The Top

Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend. A while later I forgot about it and started digging my nose vigorously. He then beeped me and said "Digging for gold, dear? " FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 777

You deserved it 59 733

Today, as something cute to do, my boyfriend and I dressed as Snow White and the Prince so we could photograph the moment he kisses me and I wake up. He thought it would be funny to use his penis, so now there’s a picture of us dressed up with my dumb self kissing his penis with my eyes closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 851

You deserved it 1 374

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his goddamn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 479

You deserved it 9 051

Today, I confronted my dad about his horrible attitude toward women. I pointed out that a man with as many sisters and daughters as he has, shouldn’t refer to women who’ve had children as “damaged goods”. He laughed and said, “Ah well, once it’s been blown out, it’s no good to anyone.” Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 397

You deserved it 200

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 757

You deserved it 3 211

Today, I was sitting shotgun in the car. A huge bug came inside, and everyone began to freak out so naturally I began to swat at it. I got the fly, but I also cracked the windshield. I paid $229 to kill a bug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 565

You deserved it 23 514

Same thing different taste

I'm gonna come

Fast and Furious

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