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Same thing different taste
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Who steals wipers? Are you in Seattle or just have a mean neighbor?
If you lived in the desert, this wouldn't be a problem. *checks OP's location* Oops...never mind.
Seems as though a stakeout is in order
Hmm, do you have kids? Take away a cellphone or some other privilege away recently? Most def could be an unruly teenager... Cause honestly who would steal windshield wipers in the first place, then sit around waiting for you to get new ones? I would be checking under beds or near by dumpsters, then I would whack those tricksters on the head with them. :)
Keywords
Okay, here's the plan.. put on some new wipers, but rig them to electrocute the thief. That'll show him! Just.. make sure you don't touch them. Or get them wet. Okay, this is a bad idea, so never mind.
No one is stealing them. Your car is a transformer, and he hates the ones you buy for him, so every time you leave, he chucks them as far away as possible, then turns into a car again.