Holidays: Today, I returned home from a three-week vacation. None of my... - FML

By 88_OP - 25/07/2011 02:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I returned home from a three-week vacation. None of my friends realized I'd been gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 468

You deserved it 3 963

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 05/09/2014 18:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I just got back from a two week vacation. I live with six people and only the dog was happy to see me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 998

You deserved it 3 593

By Anonymous - 03/06/2018 01:30

Today, my mother knocked on the door of my room at 7am. I am currently over 300 miles from home, on a vacation to get away from my overbearing family. I told none of them where I was going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 961

You deserved it 457

By supercharged - 05/04/2015 18:03 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, I came back from a week-long vacation where I had no internet whatsoever. I turned on my phone to get notifications, hoping to see a message or two that I'd missed while gone. There was 1 notification, telling me how many FMLs were posted while I was away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 172

You deserved it 3 348

By Lonely626 - 16/06/2016 22:26

Today, while talking with a coworker, we discussed a weekend home invasion scenario. It was then that I realized my social circle is so non-existent, that my job would notice I'm gone before my friends would. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 939

You deserved it 1 259

By carr - 04/03/2011 16:25 - France

Today, my mother noticed that I hadn't taken the trash out in a few weeks and angry, piled various full trash bags on my bed. I've been away on holiday for the past three weeks, I guess she didn't notice that part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 994

You deserved it 3 554

Wish you were here

By taylor124 - 22/08/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, I listened to a voicemail from my mom about how she misses me and can't wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 092

You deserved it 2 879

Left out

By Anonymous - 12/06/2009 01:15 - Canada

Today, I saw some friends' cars at a friend's house, but thought nothing about it. Then I found pictures on Facebook of the pool party they had as a going away party for my friend, who is leaving the country for three months. I had no idea my friend was leaving, and I was the only one not invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 555

You deserved it 5 260

By Fuckup - 05/08/2013 18:09 - United States - Naples

Today, I returned to work after a much-needed vacation. I got a lot of weird stares from my co-workers, and my boss eventually came over and told me to go home. Why? My work week starts tomorrow, not today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 978

You deserved it 10 576

By Anonymous - 01/09/2013 23:55 - United States

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 181

You deserved it 2 821

Tight knit family

By Anonymous - 24/05/2010 17:12 - Canada

Today, I went to visit my parents after 4 years of not seeing them. They'd moved without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 791

You deserved it 19 608

Next

Top comments

takanuva0123 0

Monday 25 July 2011 8:39

You call those people friends?

hannahrawrr 0

Monday 25 July 2011 8:39

Some friends you got there.

Comments

TwinSeed 1

Wednesday 27 July 2011 5:55

I'll be your friend :3

RafaelDeLaGhetto 3

Wednesday 27 July 2011 6:03

This was taken straight from That 70s Show toward the end of the 8th season where Bob tells Red and Kitty he just got back from a 3 week vacation in Florida and they didn't realize he was gone.

Vltor 5

Thursday 28 July 2011 12:01

Sometimes friends can be cruel. I'm going to college in another state and when I get back they dont even remember i exist.

stef_s4 3

Thursday 28 July 2011 22:48

lol its okay, i switched schools and moved an hour away 2 years ago and people from my old school are still asking me if i wanna hang out sometime :p

Dilwann 27

Monday 7 January 2013 11:27

That's because when you move an hour away, you guys can still hang out. Duh. Seriously. My friends wouldn't notice either, because I'm not the hanging out kind of girl. I just meet them in school and on the occasional trip to the cinema.

MinaElise_fml 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 1:56

story of my life

ThatDamnAzn 0

Friday 19 August 2011 18:22

Hehe thats funny cuz I'm currently on a 3 week vacation myself.

cupcakebri 1

Monday 22 August 2011 8:48

They're not real friends..

TurkeySlab 9

Tuesday 5 February 2013 3:18

All rise for the life of the party

patdavis13 6

Saturday 28 December 2013 4:57

your friends smoke too much pot lol

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 813

You deserved it 9 769

Today, and ever since I told my wife I had sacked my secretary, a pretty redhead, I’ve noticed my wife has started reverting to her old habit of getting headaches on Fridays, which is normally sex night. Funny how this wasn’t a problem when I had a pretty secretary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 994

You deserved it 1 050

The Top

Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 810

You deserved it 1 511

Today, I spent four hours listening to my mom berating me about how I needed to throw all my stuff out as she helped move me. Over 2/3 is hers. About 1/4 is my dad’s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 863

Today, my boyfriend and I were eating breakfast at my strict Christian grandparent's house when he said that it was impossible for anyone bigger than a grapefruit to be swallowed by a whale. My grandmother asked him, "What about Jonah?" to which he replied, "Oh, that's just a myth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 020

You deserved it 655

Today, I was in sociology class and I raised my hand to ask a question, not realizing that the professor was right behind me. I smacked him right in the face, no doubt reducing my chances of a good grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 402

You deserved it 243

Today, my husband taught our son how to pee while standing. His aim is as poor as my husband's, but I guess now they can blame their mess on each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 557

You deserved it 1 812

Today, my girlfriend got a new tattoo - the Blink-182 logo on her stomach. I wouldn't mind it, except she got pregnant a month ago and I'm pretty sure that it can't good for the baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 282