Animals: Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my...

By farksh - 07/03/2015 12:14 - Australia

Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 188

You deserved it 6 288

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Same thing different taste

By eyes wide SHIT - 28/12/2013 01:37 - Australia

Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 024

You deserved it 5 960

Spooked

By chrskr13 - 28/07/2023 12:00 - Denmark - Soborg

Today, I had to sleep on couch cushions on the kitchen floor because I saw a tiny spider crawl under my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 797

By Annie - 24/08/2015 08:46 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 787

You deserved it 9 267

Leave spiders to chill

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 14:07

Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 323

Scared to bed

By Anonymous - 14/11/2018 12:00

Today, I'm scared to leave my bedroom. During the night, what must have been a giant spider made a web 4 feet wide stretching from the lightbulb to the tv and then down to the desk corner. It's blocking my path to the door and I can't tell where the 8-legged bastard is hiding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 736

You deserved it 432

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 160

By somebody - 08/06/2012 23:13 - United States - Lexington Park

Today, when I was laying in my bed, I looked on the opposite side and saw a spider the size of my palm staring at me. And if that wasn't bad, I found out it hops. I still can't find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 371

You deserved it 2 090

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 324

You deserved it 7 652

By igotpride - 09/12/2013 21:01 - United States

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 822

You deserved it 5 381

By JustLeaveThem - 25/01/2017 18:00

Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 738

You deserved it 292

cutycat136 28

Saturday 7 March 2015 23:53

Okay. Now just don't think of the size of that spider and its long legs taking it all the way to the couch tonight. Good luck OP :)

coming back in the future 30

Saturday 7 March 2015 23:57

Only in Australia.,

Comments

Cassandra2015 21

Monday 9 March 2015 3:53

I'd be doing the same

shawnaa93 8

Monday 9 March 2015 4:38

You poor soul.... Let the odds be in your favors against those wicked creatures

Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Monday 9 March 2015 4:39

I was going to give this a YDI cause you shouldn't smash spiders, they eat flies and other insects which might actually give you a disease while being pretty much harmless themselves. Then I noticed OP is from Australia. Next time smash it twice to make sure it's dead.

squiros 2

Monday 9 March 2015 18:20

fill a squirt bottle with soap and water. the next time you see a spider, squirt with soap and water. the spider will be coated by soap and water. then, slowly, the water will evaporate. the soap, however, will leave a thin layer on the spider, blocking the many airholes it uses to breathe. after a few minutes, regardless of where the spider has gone, the spider will suffocate and die. this method is safe for pets and children, without any dangerous chemicals. the spider is not harmless - all spiders contain venom and an allergic reaction can be potentially fatal. even a 1% chance of death by spider can be avoided with a squirt bottle. for the tree huggers - if the roles were reversed, if you accidentally wound up in a spider's home with sizes reversed - you are the size of the spider and vise versa, do you think the spider will let you go? i mean, you're not doing the spider any harm (and couldn't), so the spider would also extend the same courtesy to you, right? or would it wrap you in a cocoon and spit venom to dissolve you then drink you like a cup of cocoa?

Levvy 22

Wednesday 11 March 2015 3:07

So the only consideration in how to treat someone or something else is whether it would do the same to you in a fantasy scenario you literally had to make up to justify your argument? Nice. I, too, base most of my decisions on how things might happen in a world I've just imagined, and on whether my niceness would be repaid. Hey, why not just back your car into someone's house and drive away without leaving notice. For all you know, they'd have done the same to you, right? You know that about as surely as you know an imaginary giant spider would eat you - which it very well might not, considering that if you actually, you know, watch spiders, they don't go around mindlessly attacking everything they see. But setting that aside: What you've described also applies to, say, cats. Lots and lots and lots of other animals too, but let's just go with this one. If you were the size of a small prey animal like a bird to a cat, think how many of them would be similarly harsh to you, and how many would kill or maim you for fun or food. So, if you actually believe what you're saying, go ahead and try encouraging the rest of the FML commentators here that they should stomp cats to death too. After all, it's literally the exact same scenario. Imaginary giant version would kill you = it's fine to kill it. Stand up for your own argument, right now, and say that we should kill cats on sight too. If it holds water, that should be no problem. Right? Go ahead, we're waiting.

rabid_otaku 29

Tuesday 10 March 2015 3:09

If you weren't from Australia I'd tell you to quit being a pussy.

Michael903 18

Tuesday 10 March 2015 5:30

If you hit it with a rolled up newspaper and it lived, maybe it is a super, radioactive spider and when it bites you (cause you know it will get it's revenge in this life or the next), you'll get super powers!