Miscellaneous: Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a...

FML for mobile
Free

By cockroach - 27/09/2009 15:52 - United States

Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a stick to smack it down. When I hit it, it fell and landed in my mouth. Karma much? FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 333

You deserved it 16 757

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 974

You deserved it 4 787

Yummy

By munckncruncj15 - 22/10/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, at lunch, a fly was buzzing around my food. I managed to kill the fly in my napkin in midair. I continued my lunch, pleased with my amazing ninja skills. When I was done with my lunch, I wiped my mouth with the napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 244

You deserved it 36 953

By jaqlove - 02/07/2016 20:28 - United States - Clementon

Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 034

You deserved it 2 647

Those things freak me out

By Gilly - 02/09/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cooking dinner when I noticed a cockroach on the kitchen counter. I reflexively tried to spray it with what I had to hand, which was window cleaner, but it seems to have pissed it off and flew right at me instead. I screamed and ran out of the kitchen, leaving the roach in charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 485

By Anonymous - 07/02/2014 18:51 - Mayotte - Mamoudzou

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 290

You deserved it 3 664

By Anonymous - 12/06/2015 05:35 - Australia - Rydalmere

Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 587

You deserved it 2 142

By all5fingers - 08/09/2011 05:23 - Canada

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 629

You deserved it 3 247

By funyfunkid - 22/12/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 135

You deserved it 47 954

By foxbrat - 11/10/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 239

You deserved it 3 298

Added protein

By Anonymous - 10/02/2021 00:30

Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 194

NATFLUMP 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 20:08

OMFG MAN WHY WOULD YOU KEEP YOUR MOUTH OPEN ! dude, you fcking stuuuuuuupid.

prettybadfuckup 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 20:07

GROSSNESS

Comments

lmmmr 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 22:11

YDI for saying "Karma much?"

shootingstar8D 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 22:13

I ate a roach when I was 5, suprisingly I remember how it tastes like, eww

Gwythinn 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 22:16

*groan* Here, have two internets for that awful pun.

Osakhomen 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 22:19

GROSS! UGH, I'll learn from your mistake... never open your mouth while killing a roach.

plexico 3

Sunday 27 September 2009 22:26

Are you sure it was dead when you ate it?

DynamicDave 11

Sunday 27 September 2009 22:28

Why would you have your mouth open and stand right under it? YDI

kira1kira 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 22:43

when u say "karma much?" you're asking to be ydi-ed, but still fyl

gizmo_987 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 23:20

......not Karma.....YDI

randomgirl13 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 23:24

EWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!

jillz 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 23:29

Copy the trend to put 'much' at the end much? /slap Blackberry1993 is so right.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Weddings Embarrassing Love Health Technology Mental health Work AITA Break-ups Kids Cats Animals Cute Money Transportation Cars Clothes Capitalism Job interview Heatwave Miscellaneous Insects Summer Virginity Weird Parenting Family Thief Food Scary

The Top

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 630

You deserved it 5 135

Today, my dad invited me to a bar that turned out to be a brothel, because “it’s pathetic that I’m still a virgin and it’s past time I just get it over with.” I’m not a virgin, I’ve just never been with a woman because I’m gay and still haven’t told my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 195

The Top

Today, my sister gave me a makeover. I protested, but she insisted it'd look great. After an eternity of eyebrow plucking, she handed me the mirror. I now have extremely badly-drawn sharpie eyebrows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 961

You deserved it 6 395

Today, I got so nervous that I actually peed my pants during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 618

You deserved it 13 388

Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was going on, so I had two choices: say that I was sick or tell the truth. It’s been an hour since my mom started trying to give me a suppository to cure my “indigestion”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 391

Today, now our boys are older, my husband doesn’t care what they do. Apparently, if he knows what they’re doing, he’ll have to get off his chair and parent, which will annoy both him and the boys, so it’s easier to let the boys destroy their room, because at least then everyone but me is happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 170

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 749

You deserved it 4 174

Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 894

You deserved it 105 016

Same thing different taste

Yummy

Those things freak me out

Added protein

Top comments

Comments