Miscellaneous: Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a... - FML

FML for mobile
Free

Open in app

By cockroach - 27/09/2009 15:52 - United States

Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a stick to smack it down. When I hit it, it fell and landed in my mouth. Karma much? FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 333

You deserved it 16 757

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 974

You deserved it 4 787

Yummy

By munckncruncj15 - 22/10/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, at lunch, a fly was buzzing around my food. I managed to kill the fly in my napkin in midair. I continued my lunch, pleased with my amazing ninja skills. When I was done with my lunch, I wiped my mouth with the napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 244

You deserved it 36 953

By jaqlove - 02/07/2016 20:28 - United States - Clementon

Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 034

You deserved it 2 647

Those things freak me out

By Gilly - 02/09/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cooking dinner when I noticed a cockroach on the kitchen counter. I reflexively tried to spray it with what I had to hand, which was window cleaner, but it seems to have pissed it off and flew right at me instead. I screamed and ran out of the kitchen, leaving the roach in charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 485

By Anonymous - 07/02/2014 18:51 - Mayotte - Mamoudzou

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 290

You deserved it 3 664

By Anonymous - 12/06/2015 05:35 - Australia - Rydalmere

Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 587

You deserved it 2 142

By all5fingers - 08/09/2011 05:23 - Canada

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 629

You deserved it 3 247

By funyfunkid - 22/12/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 135

You deserved it 47 953

By foxbrat - 11/10/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 239

You deserved it 3 298

Added protein

By Anonymous - 10/02/2021 00:30

Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 194

Next

Top comments

NATFLUMP 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 20:08

OMFG MAN WHY WOULD YOU KEEP YOUR MOUTH OPEN ! dude, you fcking stuuuuuuupid.

prettybadfuckup 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 20:07

GROSSNESS

Comments

rhythmbandit 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 23:37

karma much? YOU FAIL OP

movies12 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 23:59

OH MY ****** GOD! I CANT TAKE IT HOW PEOPLE MAKE SUCH A BIG DEAL OVER THE OP SAYING "KARMA MUCH" WATS THE BIG ******* DEAL!! So annoying!!! OP next time while killing a cockroach, close your mouth.

lifeislife_fml 0

Monday 28 September 2009 2:12

I could say that people like you who bitch about people bitching about "Karma much?" are annoying, but that STILL wouldn't get us anywhere, would it? We'd just go on endlessly bitching about each other bitching about crap.

srgntawesome 0

Monday 28 September 2009 0:50

Shut the **** up reyo. Damn hippie

Ohnothingreally 0

Monday 28 September 2009 0:56

Too many people bitching about the "Karma much?" Okay, I can understand how it can get irritating seeing it more that one time, but you know what's more irritating? Seeing people bitch about "Karma much" more than 5 times.

TysonFawlay 0

Monday 28 September 2009 1:00

YDI for not having learnt what karma is yet despite all the ******* FMLs on this site being corrected. Learn something.

juicyQ 0

Monday 28 September 2009 2:09

Why not just close your mouth next time...

lifeislife_fml 0

Monday 28 September 2009 2:10

We hate the phrase "Karma much?" Peopl post FMLs saying "Karma much?" Karma much?

ithedarkone 0

Monday 28 September 2009 2:58

You OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD i got a cockroach in my mouth face bish. I always knew you were gonna be a cockroach sucken bish because your POPS soft!

Keykar 0

Monday 28 September 2009 3:17

once I was trying to kill a grasshopper andit jumped into my mouth.... ugh so disgusting

betty66 3

Monday 28 September 2009 3:18

ewiezzzzz

2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Weddings Embarrassing Love Technology Health Mental health Work AITA Kids Break-ups Animals Cats Cute Money Transportation Cars Clothes Capitalism Job interview Heatwave Miscellaneous Insects Summer Virginity Weird Parenting Family Thief Food Scary

The Top

Today, my grandma, who was placed in a hospice a few months ago, started to decline in health and passed away, The day before she died I thought my girlfriend was so sweet because she took a leading role in her care, just to find out she didn’t care about her at all. It was just an act to steal her pain medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 988

You deserved it 99

Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 090

You deserved it 12 797

The Top

Today, my dog is much too fond of barking at me loudly and at length for no reason. So is my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 294

Today, I was talking with my closest coworker about her boss. She told me that she yelled at her and told her, "You capricious and silly girl, you have to be more independent and brave for this job. You are a lawyer; think about your duties." She told me this as her boss came up behind us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 120

Today, I'm in a situation where I'm in a relationship, but he doesn't talk to me at all. He love-bombed me at first, and now I'm not sure how to even talk to him. I hardly know anything about him. I wanna break up but we got together like two months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 588

Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 835

You deserved it 3 810

Today, I was at work, reading some funny stories on my phone. Just as one of my co-workers decided to share that his father had passed away recently, I burst into uncontrollable, teary-eyed laughter at a story. They don't believe my explanation, and have branded me the office asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 932

You deserved it 9 168

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 602

You deserved it 5 672