Animals: Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee... - FML

By TheMichaelNixon - 14/11/2009 21:37 - United States

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 800

You deserved it 75 522

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Same thing different taste

By funyfunkid - 22/12/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 135

You deserved it 47 944

By pissed off - 17/05/2014 00:33 - United States - Brentwood

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 708

You deserved it 14 969

Fire hose

By pissedoffandon - 06/05/2009 14:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 943

You deserved it 61 823

Pissed

By Anonymous - 13/01/2014 07:34 - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 958

You deserved it 54 088

By stupidbug. - 09/04/2012 08:28 - Canada

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 976

You deserved it 37 011

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 395

Oh dear…

By Wet Britches - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Portland

Today, on my rush to get home from work to use the bathroom, I hit a deer. It startled me so badly that I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 036

You deserved it 1 732

By Anonypiss - 22/07/2015 16:21 - Canada - Pembroke

Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 645

You deserved it 26 669

By pissfaced - 02/01/2010 13:41 - New Zealand

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 129

You deserved it 73 404

By spiderwoman - 04/11/2012 17:12 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 726

You deserved it 13 576

Next

Top comments

Tequilamockngbrd 7

Sunday 15 November 2009 2:42

I'm not sure what's more stupid: wanting to pee on a grasshopper, or expecting it to wait in one spot while you peed on it. Silly.

Luckster 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 2:49

That Grasshopper waited all day to do that to you! You know that, right?

Comments

EmmaElaine 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 3:10

Ohhh you. You make my day.

brianrubin 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 3:17

Y totally DI

fringle 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 3:28

I'd be so PISSED if I were that grasshopper!

Captain_Obvious2_fml 6

Friday 3 June 2011 3:27

da dun chh!!

Overcast117 5

Sunday 15 November 2009 3:29

What did you think was going to happen?

lostfaithinpppl 19

Sunday 15 November 2009 3:29

OP, you are a moron.

Aha09 1

Sunday 15 November 2009 3:31

Confucious say: "Man no pee on Grasshopper. Grasshopper own man who tries."

alwaysalady 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 3:33

YOu never hear of women getting in these situations.....

Atamix 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 17:17

i would love to see that.

nakasboy44 0

Wednesday 21 April 2010 6:04

ur retarted

polarbears 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 3:34

LOL YDI :]

Rhaegar 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 3:35

Wait, did you "pee yourself" as in pee your pants (i.e., the grasshopper jumped out before you unzipped and peed on it), or as in pee in all directions with some landing on you?

Lounia_fml 8

Sunday 15 November 2009 3:45

Buddy, how old are you, honestly? :P

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