Animals: Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee... - FML

By TheMichaelNixon - 14/11/2009 21:37 - United States

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 800

You deserved it 75 522

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By funyfunkid - 22/12/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 135

You deserved it 47 944

By pissed off - 17/05/2014 00:33 - United States - Brentwood

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 708

You deserved it 14 969

Fire hose

By pissedoffandon - 06/05/2009 14:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 943

You deserved it 61 823

Pissed

By Anonymous - 13/01/2014 07:34 - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 958

You deserved it 54 088

By stupidbug. - 09/04/2012 08:28 - Canada

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 976

You deserved it 37 011

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 395

Oh dear…

By Wet Britches - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Portland

Today, on my rush to get home from work to use the bathroom, I hit a deer. It startled me so badly that I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 036

You deserved it 1 732

By Anonypiss - 22/07/2015 16:21 - Canada - Pembroke

Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 645

You deserved it 26 669

By pissfaced - 02/01/2010 13:41 - New Zealand

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 129

You deserved it 73 404

By spiderwoman - 04/11/2012 17:12 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 726

You deserved it 13 576

Next

Top comments

Tequilamockngbrd 7

Sunday 15 November 2009 2:42

I'm not sure what's more stupid: wanting to pee on a grasshopper, or expecting it to wait in one spot while you peed on it. Silly.

Luckster 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 2:49

That Grasshopper waited all day to do that to you! You know that, right?

Comments

jessxoxo28 5

Sunday 15 November 2009 3:45

LMAO!!!!! wow, well thats wat u get for trying to pee on that thing

IceCream53423 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 3:46

@19 that's cause women don't use urinals :)

killurbeer 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 3:47

hahahahahahaha!

grrrarrrg2 2

Sunday 15 November 2009 4:16

HAHAHAHHA THAT BLOWS DUDE!

owlowl 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 4:17

why the **** would you try to pee on a grasshopper?

WearingHats 14

Wednesday 20 October 2010 23:38

Maybe because it's hilarious?

TheLoneWolf87 4

Sunday 15 November 2009 4:23

YOU HAVE DONE WELL, YOUNG GRASSHOPPAH! Probably he went apeshit on you cause u took the urinal he was using. T_T

swimdiva 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 4:25

haha wow this FML had the funniest comments out of like all of themm... OP, you are retarded, it's probably considered a MAJOR fail to be owned by a grasshopper but its ok cuz we all lovee you :)

HelloMyName 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 4:42

One word: Karma.

SarcasticAvenger 9

Sunday 15 November 2009 4:46

Karma's a bitch! YDI, dumbass!

IC4M3R0NI 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 4:59

@10

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Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 2 737

You deserved it 251

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I agree, your life sucks 382

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I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 210

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I agree, your life sucks 1 379

You deserved it 92

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I agree, your life sucks 20 545

You deserved it 21 939