Miscellaneous: Today, I saw an attractive, thin woman eating a salad. Trying...

By Anonymous - 08/02/2011 18:32 - United States

Today, I saw an attractive, thin woman eating a salad. Trying to be smooth, I approached her and told her that she didn't need to eat so scarcely, because she was beautiful. She promptly gave me a dirty look and informed me that she was a vegetarian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 678

You deserved it 50 552

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Thanks Karen

By Anonymous - 26/08/2014 15:30 - United States - Gloucester

Today, I was taking a customer's order, when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 681

You deserved it 4 366

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 205

You deserved it 67 194

By Anonymous - 20/07/2009 00:22 - United States

Today, I went out to eat at a restaurant. When the waitress saw me, she continously told me how beautiful and kind I was. Flattered, I just said thank you. Five minutes later, one of the ugliest girls I've ever seen in my life walked in. The waitress told her the same exact things she told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 617

You deserved it 13 575

By Anonymous - 20/08/2014 22:14 - Sweden - ?kersberga

Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 952

You deserved it 8 251

That line is a cheesy cliché, so use it wisely

By Giden - 18/07/2022 14:00

Today, I was at a party and saw this girl who used to be overweight. She'd lost a significant amount of weight and looked so good, I went to chat her up. She immediately told me to get lost. According to her, if I "didn’t appreciate her at her worst, I don’t deserve her at her best." FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 2 799

By hadrienne's pall - 13/05/2016 19:25 - Canada - Markham

Today, I asked a girl at the restaurant I work at if she'd had enough to eat. When she said yes, I said, "Are you sure?" I didn't realize how insulting it sounded until her equally overweight mom was up in my face, demanding to see my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 976

You deserved it 4 281

By salad - 28/04/2014 15:38 - United States - North Charleston

Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 949

You deserved it 5 323

By tardspawn - 05/04/2015 15:38 - United Kingdom - Horsham

Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 595

You deserved it 4 008

By fuckedbyahipster - 15/06/2013 16:13 - Finland

Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 736

You deserved it 2 890

Smooth

By godzilllla - 08/08/2015 01:59 - United States - Bothell

Today, while at the local supermarket, I spotted an attractive woman packing food into a shelf. Trying to be flirty, I asked where I could find the cream cheese. Apparently, it was on the shelf right behind me. I heard her mutter "idiot" under her breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 378

You deserved it 11 812

DoubleEdgedBlade 4

Tuesday 8 February 2011 23:55

Now she's definitely not going to eat your meat!

IceyJustin 1

Tuesday 8 February 2011 23:53

Yeah real smooth.

Comments

hellokeroppi 5

Thursday 10 February 2011 3:05

go veggies!!!

GracefulGoddess 0

Thursday 10 February 2011 4:37

Quite frankly, I find that that line is very played-out and somewhat cliché. Originality would've worked better at winning her interest, OP. :)

vivoloko 0

Thursday 10 February 2011 7:15

you should kill yourself for being such an idiot

heyimelsa 0

Thursday 10 February 2011 21:14

-1 point for you for having the worst pickup line ever. -1 point for her for being a b****.

mclovinyourmom69 0

Friday 11 February 2011 1:18

should've been like "it was a compliment you stupid hippie b****"

bobester 0

Friday 11 February 2011 15:02

damn that sucks

Professor59 2

Wednesday 16 February 2011 23:35

Classic mistake. To get away with speaking to an attractive woman, you totally forgot to be attractive and tall.

beast72 0

Monday 21 February 2011 1:45

dick

baden18830 5

Thursday 2 June 2011 22:31

vegetarian is a deal breaker for me. I don't date stupid people

RefugeForChris 0

Saturday 18 June 2011 5:11

Typical woman. It had nothing to do with her being a vegetarian, just that girls take offense to anything weight-related:p

Keywords

Embarrassing Work Accident Health Relatable Love LGBTQIA+ Annoying Inappropriate AITA My ex Relationship advice Animals Cute Cats Friends Transportation Cars Awkward Dogs Money Scams Miscellaneous Kids Drugs Family Public freakouts Cheating Sex Intimacy

The Top

Today, while I was using the bathroom at work, I heard someone come into the stall next to mine and start talking. Thinking they were on the phone, I stayed quiet… but then they said, “I know it’s you, Jennifer.” My name isn't Jennifer. I had to sit there in silence until they left, pretending to be someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 181

Hello, you lovely people! This week is yet again brought to you from our French website, so strap some baguettes on your arms, get the accordion out of storage and assume the mandatory position. While you do so, we’ll be off skateboarding, and the...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 1

The Top

Today, I went to prom with my two friends. I was ditched by my prom date because he had “other plans.” The weird thing is that when we got to the prom location, I saw him with another date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 92

Today, my new neighbours came over to introduce themselves. I open the door to see my ex-husband, with a horrified look on his face, and his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 430

You deserved it 2 340

Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 701

You deserved it 5 643

Today, I was offered a position as a school crossing guard. I have a $200,000 degree in Economics from a top 20 University and was offered a position to hold a stop sign and wear a reflective vest. I was tempted to accept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 151

You deserved it 7 067

Today, I managed to lose a 3XL fleece jacket in my house, which had my wallet and car keys in it. I had the pleasure of explaining this to my boss when I had to call in, after everyone I called did not respond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 415

You deserved it 354

Today, it's been three days since my husband got into free-jazz. He plays all the time in our small apartment. Loud. It's like listening to three guys build a shed for 10 giant angry wasps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 423

You deserved it 2 776

Same thing different taste

Thanks Karen

That line is a cheesy cliché, so use it wisely

Smooth

Top comments

Comments