Animals: Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her...

By phillyfan4life - 21/02/2011 19:50 - United States

Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 810

You deserved it 28 469

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/12/2013 06:47 - United States - Fresno

Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 366

You deserved it 35 763

By Anonymous - 24/10/2015 16:41 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 525

You deserved it 3 240

By anonamous - 12/03/2012 21:45 - United States

Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 164

You deserved it 9 125

By Anonymous - 24/01/2011 05:40 - Egypt

Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 680

You deserved it 4 334

Good boy

By AgathedeBlouse - 18/11/2008 06:42 - France

Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 564

You deserved it 25 169

By Anonymous - 27/08/2014 23:04 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 581

You deserved it 7 518

By Anonymous - 21/10/2014 15:49 - United States - Bedford

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 821

You deserved it 7 808

By RomanceFail - 02/04/2015 12:51 - United States - Crestwood

Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 040

You deserved it 3 380

By ricard0 - 27/02/2014 20:58 - United States - Petaluma

Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 066

You deserved it 6 143

By Noname - 02/02/2009 04:31 - United States

Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 818

You deserved it 7 060

mintcar 9

Tuesday 22 February 2011 0:56

You put your arm around your dog to be " cute?" Strange reason.

ImaginaryFoe 0

Tuesday 22 February 2011 1:02

"Let sleeping dogs lie." Never wondered why that's an old adage, huh?

Comments

littlesunshine_fml 9

Tuesday 22 February 2011 21:24

how nice of you, be carefull next time...;))

luchie_fml 0

Wednesday 23 February 2011 3:14

what a bitch!! pun intended

kiketag 0

Wednesday 23 February 2011 3:29

exploring ********** I see...!

CommonSenseKarma 17

Wednesday 23 February 2011 5:47

For sure. Depending on the breed, you may have to have verbal permission as well. Every1luvsBoners is legit. First commenter should be stoned.

slevindefour 0

Thursday 24 February 2011 3:52

Josh ...is this you?

NerdzRule 0

Friday 25 February 2011 1:38

I asked my mother can we get ice cream and she said hEll yeah but my mother was inside her room licking ice cream of her boyfriend and saying hell yeah

hotscar 3

Friday 25 February 2011 7:55

my dog's pretty calm when she's laying down and I give her a tummy rub or lay next to her...

goaliemkl123 8

Friday 25 February 2011 11:29

let sleeping dogs lay

smiles4life197 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 18:37

sophia?!?!

22cute 17

Saturday 5 March 2011 19:12

I'd bite your nose too! Noses are yummy little nubs of "must bite" flesh

Keywords

Miscellaneous Neighbours Awkward Wanker Lonely Halloween Jealousy Love Party Family Argument Fight Animals Cats Parents Embarrassing Health Sports Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings YouTube TikTok Pranks Dogs Cute AITA Work

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You deserved it 9 062

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Today, my sister compared me handling the news of recently being told that I have a devastating and very possibly fatal autoimmune disease, to that of a teenager being melodramatic. FML

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Today, I took the kids to the pool. I'm short and 20lbs overweight but they talked me into it and I put on a swimsuit for the first time in 10 years. As soon as we got there, a girl my height but a good 150lbs heavier said, "It's so nice to see another big girl in a two-piece!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 266

You deserved it 729

Today, I was babysitting for a new family. The youngest said, "Wow! You have huge nostrils!" She noticed my offended look and pushed her nose up like a pig's, saying, "It’s okay! Now I do too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 571

You deserved it 232

Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any possibility of me being pregnant. I hardly contained my snort, before responding, "No, you have to have sex for that." I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that it's true or her laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 871

You deserved it 6 550

Today, my boyfriend texted me, and asked if he could come over to 'have some fun'. Thinking we were going to do it, I freshened up. Turns out his idea of 'having some fun' is playing Doodle Jump and Angry Birds on my iPod. For three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 443

You deserved it 9 350

Today, the boss returned from vacation. While he was gone we thought it would be a great idea to fill the water cooler with margaritas. Even after rinsing it, we still have lime flavored water. Needless to say we got a company memo about appropriate office behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 797

You deserved it 53 624

Same thing different taste

Good boy

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