Intimacy: Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little...

By -___- - 29/09/2013 19:46 - United States - Winfield

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 782

You deserved it 27 696

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Same thing different taste

Steamy

By DreeStahr - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Liberty

Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 133

You deserved it 1 478

Remote sex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 379

You deserved it 353

By SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! - 01/02/2015 16:17 - United States - Gurnee

Today, my Breaking Bad-obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks" during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 353

You deserved it 4 302

Talk sexy to me

By fed up/turned off - 02/10/2013 05:47 - United States - Fresno

Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 565

You deserved it 6 798

Sexy talk

By Anonymous - 16/01/2016 06:40 - United States - Denver

Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 009

You deserved it 4 818

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 375

You deserved it 17 913

By princess - 17/03/2009 05:06 - Canada

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 964

You deserved it 40 648

Do me

By noneofthesex - 10/02/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 536

You deserved it 12 157

By giantcuntflaps - 13/12/2014 16:03 - Australia

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 530

You deserved it 6 871

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 17:59 - United States - Imperial

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 091

You deserved it 7 768

hghrider123456 9

Monday 30 September 2013 1:55

He basically told you to go **** yourself....

norwegianboip 17

Monday 30 September 2013 1:54

Well.. It is the finale ..

Comments

KawaiiCupcake 14

Monday 30 September 2013 21:56

#170 I like what you said until you said "when sexual ends aren't met..." What if I'm dating a bf who wants to have sex but I don't? Yes his unhappy and desperate so does it mean I have to give out? Or does he have to break up with me?

gimmicksz 9

Monday 30 September 2013 22:03

YDI, its the last show everrrr, how dare you

sassy2085 16

Monday 30 September 2013 22:29

Why doesn't he record breaking bad problem solved. :)

furubafan74 18

Monday 30 September 2013 22:34

Next time he's horny, tell him, "You have a hand, use it."

Chumbowamba 10

Monday 30 September 2013 22:35

Hmmm who gives a shit about breaking bad? its a ******* tv people who devote themselves to that shit need a life. and op you need a better boyfriend.

vffjvsegb 11

Monday 30 September 2013 22:41

I almost pissed myself reading that I laughed so bad

wiccaantje 21

Tuesday 1 October 2013 0:04

@248 That person was talking about long-term problems, so I'm going to act like you were talking about long-term sexual incompatibility. If you boyfriend constantly wants more sex then you (let's say 4 times a week and you 1 time a week) and he is unhappy with this then yes, I do think that either there comes a compromise (you give him more oral sex, more actual sex, ...whatever) or there eventually will be a break-up. I don't think he's an asshole for breaking up over too little sex, that is really important. Can you imagine being unhappy with your sex life for the rest of your life? I don't think you are an asshole for not putting out more. Again can you imagine having to do more sexual acts on a weekly basis when you just don't feel like it. In my opinion, there are certain aspects of a relationship that just need to be compatible or it doesn't work. Sex is a big one (monogamy and polygamy; asexual and sex-addict; hates ******** and loves ********; ...), religion (don't put an atheïst and deeply religious person together), ... It's nobody's fault, not even when it is about sex. Nobody calls anyone an asshole if the atheïst and the religious person breaks it off because of religious incompatibility. Some pieces just need to fit together.