Intimacy: Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little...

By -___- - 29/09/2013 19:46 - United States - Winfield

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 782

You deserved it 27 696

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Same thing different taste

Steamy

By DreeStahr - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Liberty

Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 135

You deserved it 1 479

Remote sex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 379

You deserved it 353

By SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! - 01/02/2015 16:17 - United States - Gurnee

Today, my Breaking Bad-obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks" during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 353

You deserved it 4 302

Talk sexy to me

By fed up/turned off - 02/10/2013 05:47 - United States - Fresno

Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 565

You deserved it 6 798

Sexy talk

By Anonymous - 16/01/2016 06:40 - United States - Denver

Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 009

You deserved it 4 818

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 375

You deserved it 17 913

By princess - 17/03/2009 05:06 - Canada

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 964

You deserved it 40 648

Do me

By noneofthesex - 10/02/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 536

You deserved it 12 157

By giantcuntflaps - 13/12/2014 16:03 - Australia

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 530

You deserved it 6 871

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 17:59 - United States - Imperial

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 091

You deserved it 7 768

hghrider123456 9

Monday 30 September 2013 1:55

He basically told you to go **** yourself....

norwegianboip 17

Monday 30 September 2013 1:54

Well.. It is the finale ..

Comments

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Tuesday 1 October 2013 4:36

OP, please do me a grand favor and tell me that you dumped that asshole. Like someone already said, he basically told you to go screw yourself. Over a TV SHOW. Does he not have DVR, or even a VCR? Something? And can he not watch it online later (most shows put their episodes up on the official website within 24 hours of it airing on TV)? It's a stupid show at that, one that shouldn't be worshiped at all, and he would rather watch it than spend time with his girlfriend? And, I'm sorry, but in this day and age, what man turns down sex for anything other than health issues? Lose him OP, you can do better.

grashopper8 7

Tuesday 1 October 2013 4:47

Meh there are hotter nicer guys out there.

slickchrome 11

Tuesday 1 October 2013 5:41

seriously who's reading these essays

swaggalikethat 22

Tuesday 1 October 2013 5:43

Preaching to the choir on that one 96

JohnTheLad 13

Tuesday 1 October 2013 8:05

He isn't a man.

nitrog100 21

Tuesday 1 October 2013 8:12

A girl getting pissy because her boyfriend would rather do something else than have sex. The irony is palpable. You should have known better than to compete with Breaking Bad.

monnanon 13

Tuesday 1 October 2013 13:56

shes pissy because of the way he answered.

Czech_Zidane 14

Wednesday 2 October 2013 20:47

I do not watch Breaking Bad, so OP could call me...but I am from Europe, so this is quite a problem.

Ksweety_fml 27

Tuesday 1 October 2013 9:52

BURN!!!!!!!!!

charybdis1618033 5

Tuesday 1 October 2013 10:24

It was the series finale, so yes, it was quite a bit better than sex. However, it aired at 7, and was 53 minutes long. He had plenty of time for you. So, yes, fyl.