Health: Today, I shat a magnet. FML

By mimi - 27/09/2011 02:51 - United States

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 683

You deserved it 35 754

New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By wtf - 09/06/2011 15:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 620

You deserved it 17 978

By clublulu - 10/04/2009 02:40 - United States

Today, I absentmindedly stuck two magnets in my mouth while talking, and accidentally swallowed them. I had to go the emergency room. The nurses at the station laughed at me. They thought it was a joke. They couldn't believe an 18 year old would swallow magnets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 803

You deserved it 77 172

By Anonymous - 01/09/2017 20:00

Today, I put a magnet on my brand new car. I got rear-ended by someone who was trying to read it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 173

You deserved it 866

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 261

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 08:40 - United States

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 926

You deserved it 7 350

By Anonymous - 08/10/2015 15:10 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, in the middle of a presentation, I fought a shart, but the shart won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 330

You deserved it 2 856

By sadface - 04/01/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 489

You deserved it 7 423

By SenorPoopypants - 08/01/2017 19:23

Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 669

You deserved it 992

By Mel - 07/05/2011 22:27 - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 972

You deserved it 12 963

By brownunderwear - 14/12/2011 03:45 - United States

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 780

You deserved it 7 883

cBlackout 13

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:27

That's when you know you party too hard.

develgool 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:26

Ok when did you have magnet for dinner?

Comments

yummcookie 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:37

Wizard science and/or voodoo.

deck51er 3

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:38

That and when Uncle Kenny plays the sax

doodfunnyguy 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:39

i liek turtles with magnets on the side

s0m3guy2010 21

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:40

How is this even an FML? You had to have known that you've eaten a magnet sometime in the past few days. That's not something that just slips your mind.

DrewsFML 8

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:42

Shat a magnet? Oh that's attractive.

Freeze_fml 16

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:44

ICP has left its mark.

Joshoa123 16

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:46

There goes your magnetic personality.

Paulleh 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:46

This has got to be the only FML on the site that has litterally made me laugh out loud

dc46290 8

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:47

Too much iron in his diet

super3286 14

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:49

I shat bricks after I read this :o

Keywords

Gifts Money Christmas Lonely Relatable Health Awkward Family Miscellaneous Social Media Technology Narcissistic parents Holidays Love Drunk Poopoo peepee Annoying Animals Dogs Work My ex Religion AITA Shopping Intimacy Break-ups Am I overreacting? Cheating Delivery Furniture

The Top

Today, I made the mistake of uttering the phrase "I’m not like other girls" at work when discussing how I prefer staying in and reading over going out to a bar. Now none of the other girls in the office will talk to me and are calling me a "pick-me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 668

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 596

You deserved it 3 438

The Top

Today, my dad is in the hospital for heart failure. Almost every single one of my aunts, uncles, and cousins have managed to find a way to make it about themselves for attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 96

Today, I was demoted at work to a much harder and more time-consuming position because, I quote, "You have more experience." My boss is now telling the others I volunteered to be moved to the lower position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 78

Today, while working as a manager in a busy restaurant, I was hit in the face by a grandmother with a balloon, calling me a motherfucker, while her granddaughter chucked a salad plate into the kitchen. Why? I told them they had to leave at 10, which is currently pandemic law in my state. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 77

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and my boyfriend thought it would be cute to carry me to bed. He knocked my head on the door frame and I pretended it didn't hurt because he felt so bad, but I shouldn't have. I was rushed to the hospital hours later with a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 937

You deserved it 676

Today, I'm literally obsessed with one boy. I've been crushing on him for more than a year now and yet he still decided to reject me. I have been rejected like four times by now, so I don't think this is love anymore, it's definitely more like a obsession or something. I've lost so many people just because of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 897

Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 99

Same thing different taste

Wardrobe change please

Top comments

Comments