Miscellaneous: Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the...

By Kaz - 07/05/2011 06:40 - United States

Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 587

You deserved it 50 278

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/10/2011 07:43 - United States

Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriend's house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 467

You deserved it 23 835

By Vero - 17/05/2012 15:02 - Austria - Timelkam

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 360

You deserved it 3 532

By ouchmyeye - 10/06/2011 04:59 - United States

Today, as I was sleeping I heard something bang on my door. I walked on my balcony only to find my boyfriend throwing rocks trying to wake me. He didn't see me and threw a rock right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 702

You deserved it 5 125

By shiftybizniss - 16/04/2009 18:43 - Canada

Today, I tried to sneak up on my girlfriend who was sitting in her car with one of her girlfriends. I snuck up to the driver's side window and tried to startle her by banging on the window. The window was down. My thumb went right in her eye. She has to wear a patch for 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 191

You deserved it 69 398

By Jacqueline - 01/07/2012 20:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to throw pebbles at my bedroom window in the middle of the night. It triggered the burglar alarm, which woke up everyone in the house. If my parents didn't know I had a boyfriend before, they certainly do now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 234

You deserved it 4 795

By Ohfman117 - 11/08/2009 20:30 - United States

Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 958

You deserved it 71 801

By Anonymous - 05/08/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 555

You deserved it 4 553

By Anonymous - 04/02/2014 18:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, as I came home from school, I saw a little rock in the road. I kicked it, intending to send it sailing into the bushes in front of my house. It went wide and sailed straight into a window instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 494

You deserved it 16 795

By BoomHeadshot - 02/05/2012 02:27 - Australia

Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 633

You deserved it 32 857

By Anonymous - 17/04/2012 20:53 - United States - International Falls

Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 391

You deserved it 2 046

ImInABox 6

Saturday 7 May 2011 15:51

Not much of a Shakespeare, are ya?

TigerWoods101 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 15:51

umm... HOW big was the rock?!?

Comments

miume16 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 16:37

how big was the rock :O

HeavyMetalViking 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 17:45

6'5" and 260 pounds.

resplendencerino_fml 3

Saturday 7 May 2011 16:45

you. idiot

situations 3

Saturday 7 May 2011 16:45

dude how hard did you throw it?

BB_ava 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 16:50

throw a rock at a window... could you be any more stupid? heard of knocking?

Antoine_Dodson1 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 17:06

ever heard of 2nd floor rooms ?

docscientist 9

Saturday 7 May 2011 21:22

60- Ever hear of omnirapists who can climb through your window?

situations 3

Saturday 7 May 2011 16:51

you can't expect to whip it and have the window not break try a really soft gentle throw next time

iamme87 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 16:51

ur stronger than you think...just make sure joke with her you don't nudge her, it might end up bruising her, fat boy

bonerlicious23 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 16:54

hmmm..I think your supposed to use pebbles....but atleast u woke her up!

aardvarkish 16

Saturday 7 May 2011 16:57

Some day, you will be old enough to ring her bell.

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Saturday 7 May 2011 20:13

Nice one.

NYR1926 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 16:58

u must of thrown it pretty hard to make a hole:)

mb1616 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 17:00

well at least she's awake.(:

Keywords

Miscellaneous Sleep Awkward Love Weddings Television Money Relatable Snow Transportation Annoying Family Kids Pregnancy Mental health Empathy Toxic Food Animals Cats Argument Gamers Health Valentine's Day Gross Homeowners Home improvement Babysitter Drugs Music

The Top

Today, and for months now, the meds that stop me from killing myself have killed my sex drive. My boyfriend, being stressed at work, initially assured me that his was also non existent and not to worry. I found out he's been wanking every day and hiding it from me so I don't feel bad. Now I know, I feel fucking awful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 417

You deserved it 651

Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 104

You deserved it 1 168

The Top

Today, after noticing weight gain, I purchased an ab belt. Despite no gym for around a year now, I assumed I could easily sustain an advanced level workout and put the belt on maximum strength. The first shock catapulted me off my feet and smacked my head into the wall, leaving a noticeable dent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 1 336

Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 351

You deserved it 41 599

Today, after putting an ad on Craigslist to sell a coat, I finally got a call. The guy on the phone seemed interested, and was especially curious to know if I could "model" it for him, in "stockings and suspenders." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 308

You deserved it 3 866

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 836

You deserved it 5 392

Today, it was my birthday. None of my family members wished me a happy birthday and neither did the 1,000+ "friends" I have on Facebook either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 357

Today, after training for 3 months for a marathon, three weeks from race day I tripped and fell during my last long run and cracked a rib, so I took ten painful days off. I decided to go try a short run to see if maybe I could still try the race, and got attacked by a German Shepard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 115

Same thing different taste

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