Money: Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers....

By bluntedone - 03/02/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was trans-night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 036

You deserved it 52 153

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By drunkennight - 23/11/2009 03:45 - Canada

Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then goes on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 997

You deserved it 42 374

By assante2010 - 24/07/2011 00:09 - United States

Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 357

You deserved it 6 885

Rave on

By poorclubgoer - 14/11/2009 10:11 - United States

Today, I decided to go to a club with my friends. I was flattered when an attractive guy started dancing with me. Later, I went to grab my money to pay for my dinner and realized while dancing, the very sneaky man pulled my forty dollars out of my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 701

You deserved it 5 944

By jonas_93 - 05/04/2009 19:15 - Canada

Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 045

You deserved it 9 187

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 00:53 - United States - Piedmont

Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 693

You deserved it 39 027

By mrdave - 04/07/2009 05:54 - Canada

Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 905

You deserved it 46 472

By J-Sauce - 20/06/2016 14:54 - Canada - Salmon Arm

Today, I went to a club with 6 girls thinking it would be awesome. As soon as we got there, they all said they wanted to go dance and asked if I could watch their purses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 832

You deserved it 2 810

By Anonymous - 30/05/2009 11:39 - Canada

Today, I won $200 a contest at a bar. The manager took me to a vault where money collected from the strippers go into a pool. He told me that at least half of the bills were slid through a strippers butt crack so I was to "choose wisely". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 652

You deserved it 9 042

Feels bad man

By toobad - 02/06/2009 05:41 - United States

Today, I went to a bar with some buddies, and after trying to pick up a few girls, one of my friends got a number. When I heard the number, I said, "Sorry man, that's definitely the rejection hotline number." So many girls have given me that number, I've memorized it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 093

You deserved it 6 752

By Anonymous - 09/08/2012 11:39 - United States - Desoto

Today, I went out with a friend to grab some food and we were served by this really cute and fun waiter. Stepping out of my comfort zone and deciding to do something crazy, I left my phone number on the bill. I got home only to realize that I forgot to pay the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 805

You deserved it 24 587

linzhart333 8

Tuesday 17 March 2009 22:28

wow what the ****? $400??? you're DESPERATE, dude.

jimmythegirl 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 4:49

bahahahaha but really why did you spend $400 at a stripclub.............

Comments

rxxk 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 1:40

god...you're...a...dumbass...*slaps face*

Hollydolly 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 0:31

you must really need some action :|

Jaina_APO 0

Friday 3 April 2009 21:48

$400?... wow

coolgirl_fml 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 6:55

sucksssss...

ducklamp 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 20:27

hahah you must be the kind of guy who says, "wow, that girl has a really big adam's apple"

Greenenvy 0

Monday 20 April 2009 17:26

Maybe if you weren't such a pig you'd still have your money and not just thought about boning a bunch of men. Perv.

Tatorrr 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 12:57

You failed horribly. I could of bought a pair of True Religion Jeans with that 400 hundred dollar and still have money lefted over.

claireful 4

Wednesday 1 June 2011 8:15

Yeah! With $400 you could've paid for Tatorr to get a decent dye job! Selfish jerk!

TALZZZ14 11

Thursday 25 July 2013 17:51

Claireful's comment is what makes this post

24788 6

Wednesday 29 April 2009 8:20

I would never touch a tranny. I don't know that's just me though.

Grimmerie 31

Sunday 24 January 2016 5:25

That's fine. Us transgender folks would never touch a transphobic bigot like you.

deadlights13 0

Friday 5 June 2009 4:27

One word: Ew

marcus3415 0

Sunday 28 June 2009 19:17

27. I seriously just loled.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu," remarked how I look "so grown up for your age," and asked what grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 773

You deserved it 2 046

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 199

You deserved it 17 041

The Top

Today, I went to my academic counselor to help me deal with my stress and anxiety, which has been making me nauseous from the constant strain. She suggested exercise to help these feelings. Every time I do so, I vomit. From the anxiety and stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 094

You deserved it 5 442

Today, I suddenly awoke on the couch in the dark early-morning hours to the pungent odor of something burning. I ran all throughout the house looking for a fire but there was no sign of it. Exhausted, I crashed back down on the couch and let one rip. It had been me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 823

You deserved it 836

Today, my ex told me she still misses having sex with me. Her next text was "but it's still over." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 905

You deserved it 3 370

Today, my boyfriend was giving me a back massage while I was laying on my stomach. A few minutes into it, he stopped. I turned around to see why; he was taking a picture of my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 167

You deserved it 7 653

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 084

You deserved it 3 569

Today, my sick semi-delusional boyfriend, whom I've been taking care of for days, accused me of trying to poison him so that I could play World of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 820

You deserved it 1 906

Same thing different taste

Rave on

Feels bad man

Top comments

Comments