Money: Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers.... - FML

By bluntedone - 03/02/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was trans-night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 036

You deserved it 52 153

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Same thing different taste

By drunkennight - 23/11/2009 03:45 - Canada

Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then goes on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 997

You deserved it 42 374

By assante2010 - 24/07/2011 00:09 - United States

Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 357

You deserved it 6 885

Rave on

By poorclubgoer - 14/11/2009 10:11 - United States

Today, I decided to go to a club with my friends. I was flattered when an attractive guy started dancing with me. Later, I went to grab my money to pay for my dinner and realized while dancing, the very sneaky man pulled my forty dollars out of my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 701

You deserved it 5 944

By jonas_93 - 05/04/2009 19:15 - Canada

Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 045

You deserved it 9 187

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 00:53 - United States - Piedmont

Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 693

You deserved it 39 027

By mrdave - 04/07/2009 05:54 - Canada

Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 905

You deserved it 46 472

By J-Sauce - 20/06/2016 14:54 - Canada - Salmon Arm

Today, I went to a club with 6 girls thinking it would be awesome. As soon as we got there, they all said they wanted to go dance and asked if I could watch their purses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 832

You deserved it 2 810

By Anonymous - 30/05/2009 11:39 - Canada

Today, I won $200 a contest at a bar. The manager took me to a vault where money collected from the strippers go into a pool. He told me that at least half of the bills were slid through a strippers butt crack so I was to "choose wisely". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 652

You deserved it 9 042

Feels bad man

By toobad - 02/06/2009 05:41 - United States

Today, I went to a bar with some buddies, and after trying to pick up a few girls, one of my friends got a number. When I heard the number, I said, "Sorry man, that's definitely the rejection hotline number." So many girls have given me that number, I've memorized it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 093

You deserved it 6 752

By Anonymous - 09/08/2012 11:39 - United States - Desoto

Today, I went out with a friend to grab some food and we were served by this really cute and fun waiter. Stepping out of my comfort zone and deciding to do something crazy, I left my phone number on the bill. I got home only to realize that I forgot to pay the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 805

You deserved it 24 587

Next

Top comments

linzhart333 8

Tuesday 17 March 2009 22:28

wow what the ****? $400??? you're DESPERATE, dude.

jimmythegirl 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 4:49

bahahahaha but really why did you spend $400 at a stripclub.............

Comments

crownlogic 25

Thursday 13 October 2011 8:14

Well, I feel bad for the four people that gave you their numbers first off...$400 is a ridiculous amount to pay for strippers. I can only imagine the type of person you are...coupled with obvious desperation.

horsestarz 7

Thursday 17 November 2011 22:03

I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transexual, Transylvannia.

xxsakuraxx 29

Tuesday 12 February 2013 8:28

Why don't you come into the lab and see whats on the slab?

analsecksluvr22 0

Tuesday 27 December 2011 18:08

I like anal sex too...?

ryansfyl 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 6:26

$100 dollar phone numbers and a Penis with boobs yeah fyl

chesoes 8

Friday 20 January 2012 7:04

Lmfao

supermann13_fml 11

Monday 20 February 2012 18:43

I agree.

ArtemisArrow 3

Wednesday 2 January 2013 14:52

How could you not tell?

NodakN8V 25

Tuesday 23 April 2013 0:10

Yuck !!!!

acid_moose 7

Thursday 19 September 2013 8:44

SERIOUSLY?! You try to pick up women at a strip club?! You're a bloody pitiful fool! Why would you throw $400 away to try and get a woman? Find an online dating site, it'll cost less & you'll find a girl who DOES'NT take her clothes off for money.

ForXToday 17

Monday 23 September 2013 11:45

Why would you spend $400 in one night mo at a strip club?

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The Top

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 101

You deserved it 3 775

Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 651

The Top

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 514

You deserved it 7 055

Today, it was my 21st birthday and I invited a handful of my best friends over. They all stood me up and I drank alone in my apartment. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 549

You deserved it 1 244

Today, I was late for work, so I grabbed my handbag, my sports bag and ran out. The bus arrived at the stop just as I did, so I hopped on and sat down, trying to catch my breath. I dumped my bags onto my knees and looked down to see my cat, staring back at me from inside my sports bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 512

You deserved it 3 690

This is basically me during every conflict I've ever witnessed.

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 111

Today, I had a date with a man who works as a psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder during dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 854

You deserved it 6 794

Today, it's my wedding anniversary. I decided to come home early to surprise my husband, but I was the one left surprised. I walked in on him in bed with a teenager. I'm six months pregnant with our second child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 216

You deserved it 326