Love, Kids and Marriage: Today, I spent an hour explaining to a college student how you... - FML

By melmel - 05/05/2014 05:07 - United States - Cumming

Today, I spent an hour explaining to a college student how you could have a baby and not be married. He still doesn't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 762

You deserved it 4 558

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Dense

By Anonymous - 20/03/2022 14:00

Today, I tried to explain to my son that a 10.5lb baby can’t be born after only 6 months of pregnancy, and when he didn’t get that massive hint, I had to outright tell him his girlfriend must've already been 3 months pregnant when they met, and lied to him. I’ve raised an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 865

You deserved it 220

Alexa, play "Confusion" by New Order

By Anonymous - 16/09/2019 02:00

Today, I found out my husband has been telling everyone he doesn't want a baby. He has been telling me he does. We have been trying for months. I'm now pregnant and confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 762

You deserved it 162

By herpderp - 11/02/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 393

You deserved it 3 618

By Anonymous - 11/03/2014 18:51

Today, I had to explain to my husband that it's biologically impossible for cats and dogs to cross-breed, and that his "brilliant idea" of getting ours to mate is just plain disturbing. He still doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 000

You deserved it 4 360

Childfree

By Anonymous - 01/09/2020 04:57 - Germany

Today, I explained to my boyfriend that I want to get my tubes tied, because I don’t want kids and can’t stand the fear of getting pregnant by accident, despite contraception, which has happened before. He summarized: “So, the main point is to preserve your fertility, right?” Wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 312

Trapped

By Anonymous - 12/03/2022 05:00 - United States - Mineola

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. Instead of being happy, he freaked out, then told me I was trying to "trap" him. We've been together for 12 years, and trying for 3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 237

You deserved it 188

By Anonymous - 23/05/2019 02:00

Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend how sleeping with another person is cheating. It's been three days, and almost as many fights. He still doesn't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 927

You deserved it 838

My little girl

By I'm an adult! - 02/07/2015 19:16 - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, I told my parents I'm pregnant. I got a long lecture from my mom about using protection. It would have been fine hearing all that, but I'm turning 22, I moved out a few years ago, have a full time job with great benefits, and am getting married next summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 704

You deserved it 4 496

By Anonymous - 09/03/2013 17:42 - Pakistan

Today, I'm 5 months pregnant. My 20-year-old boyfriend still refuses to tell his parents because he thinks he'll get in trouble. He thinks we can get away with "never telling them and just hiding the kid." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 762

You deserved it 10 128

By Acu7519 - 16/04/2018 15:00

Today, at my job as a 2nd grade teacher, I was explaining to my students how I'm pregnant and will have to take a break from teaching after I have my baby. One of my students replied with "Ooooooooohhh Ms. Johnson had sex!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 200

You deserved it 850

Next

Top comments

kinky44 28

Monday 5 May 2014 18:47

Everyone knows genitals don't work until you get a marriage license and the state activates them.

PickledSweets 22

Monday 5 May 2014 18:43

Oh, how I fear for the future of America.

Comments

shanax 1

Wednesday 7 May 2014 14:35

If everyone had this logic we wouldn't be having so many babies popped out before marriage. The guy probably knows you can have a baby and no married but is trying to tell you it's wrong.

howsthisforaname 34

Wednesday 7 May 2014 15:35

I wonder if his teachers were aware that the Ed in sex Ed stands for education?

fmlrulesBolt 14

Thursday 8 May 2014 9:43

Hahaha I was told this at a very young age. Sorry to burst your bubble

GreyDiaries 10

Saturday 10 May 2014 16:24

well I guess someone's a virgin

Blahblah9921 4

Saturday 10 May 2014 23:15

you dont have to be married in order to have a baby

aimzskee 30

Tuesday 8 July 2014 13:41

He's a certain kind of special.

kpohil 13

Wednesday 31 December 2014 4:48

see I agree though my wife says girls find dads hot but to me to be. dad is to be a husband.

fantasyworld 37

Sunday 19 April 2015 17:44

How did he manage to make it to college without knowing that?

kevingirl 6

Wednesday 27 September 2017 13:53

oh come on. how can anyone be that stupid.

Keywords

Transportation Cars Embarrassing Relatable Work Mental health Awkward AITA Am I overreacting? Love Social Media Annoying Family Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist Health Cute Sleep Dogs Animals Shopping My ex Cats Job interview Clothes Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, I got married and I'd invited everyone from work including my boss. His way of congratulating me was to mention that I'm out of a job. He said it was a good time to do it because he thought I would be too happy or too drunk to care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 614

You deserved it 2 826

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was in the middle of an intense orgasm when we heard the panicky voice of his little sister saying there was an emergency downstairs. He jumped up and left to see what the matter was. The big emergency? The Wii remotes had dead batteries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 169

You deserved it 9 445

The Top

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 066

You deserved it 66 959

Today, I thought I'd finally make a step towards getting over my ex-fiancé by flirting with a cute waiter. I left him a note on the bill. He comes back, says "which one of you is [name]?" and leans down close to me to say, "Thanks for your note, but your card was declined." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 896

You deserved it 8 085

Today, I went to a crowded Walmart with the hot new girl I'm dating. It was raining and we had to park far from the entrance. As soon as we got out of my car, she started sprinting to get out of the rain. I ran to catch up and slipped on a metal plate, and did a reverse Superman onto my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 076

You deserved it 5 568

Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 525

You deserved it 3 240

Today, I watched The Omen with my father. Halfway through driving me back home, he stopped the car and made me get out right there in a rough part of town. Fifteen minutes later, he drove up beside me, laughed hysterically at how terrified I was, and told me to get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 791

You deserved it 2 796

Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 210

You deserved it 38 302