Miscellaneous: Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my...

By stupidtoothpick2 - 16/08/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 271

You deserved it 8 490

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Same thing different taste

By ouch - 05/10/2015 19:20 - United States - Stockton

Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 878

You deserved it 3 774

By Anonymous - 06/09/2013 11:55 - United States - Louisville

Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 610

You deserved it 2 894

By Ilovelife07 - 19/09/2009 04:47 - United States

Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 724

You deserved it 9 591

Great idea

By dumbbb - 27/12/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 264

You deserved it 46 034

Pizza mystery

By Pick out the picks - 24/09/2022 15:30 - United States

Today, I picked out a toothpick from a pizza. This is not the first time I've had to do this. It is also not the first time that I didn't see it until less than a second before I bit down on the piece with the toothpick embedded in it. Looks like there's a toothpick assassin on the loose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 130

Best teeth in the game

By floss can't skewer people - 22/09/2021 02:00

Today, my stepfather refused to drive me to the hospital after having a toothpick that was left on the floor lodge itself and break off in the bottom of my foot. He's the only person in the house that uses toothpicks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 211

You deserved it 92

By S. - 26/08/2012 16:20 - Estonia

Today, I bought a pack of toothpicks. There were 500 of them. When I got home I accidentally dropped the pack. After twenty long minutes of picking them up, I dropped them again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 294

You deserved it 12 746

By monkeycannon7 - 24/04/2012 16:36 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 348

You deserved it 29 708

Hangry dude

By Anonymous - 07/08/2021 20:01

Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 248

Added flavor

By Toothless - 07/10/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 201

You deserved it 6 417

imajinethat 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 16:28

Uhm, floss. Duh.

ScatteredMind 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 16:28

seriously dude? that's an fml??

Comments

keki60 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 16:52

lolololololol

need4speed0829 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 17:02

hahahahahhahah

kimberley123 6

Thursday 9 August 2012 4:33

hahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahaha.... ha

aback 4

Sunday 16 August 2009 17:12

This is going to turn into one of those "she swallowed the spider to catch the fly" things, isn't it?

prettykitty123 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 17:35

Use the other end of the toothpick?

markwu12 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 21:54

some toothpicks only have one pointy end

Jennydew 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 17:41

That's not an FML. Get another toothpick or go to the store and get some floss.

Subjectzero 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 17:55

floss? ydi

LOLOLOLOLOLOL123 2

Sunday 16 August 2009 18:11

use a hammer

nodbor 11

Monday 17 August 2009 1:02

no, no, no, use a drill.

craziiie 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 18:18

How do they deserve it for eating. Like really everyone eats. But they deserve it for not getting floss

dralven 0

Monday 17 August 2009 1:13

1. Learn how to REPLY. 2. Learn to understand sarcasm.

TheMikeyK 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 18:43

Go see the dentist. You have a dirty mouth and a dumb mind if you didn't think of flossing. Pathetic. YDI.

dummydory 4

Sunday 16 August 2009 19:11

This isn't an FML.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 842

You deserved it 4 026

Today, my date left the restaurant because I didn’t agree with his opinions about the mentally disabled or mixed race couples, etc. Basically, a real scumbag. He also left me the bill, and it turned out he had all the most expensive menu items, including a £120 bottle of wine. It cost over £300 total. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 362

You deserved it 359

The Top

Today, my boyfriend of nearly 4 years, with whom I have a baby, broke up with me. His reason? His best friend said he didn't like drinking with guys who were "tied down". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 921

You deserved it 6 273

Today, I walked in on my uncle watching porn. I realized that it was porn featuring my boyfriend, and he told me that the girl in it was "just a friend". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 039

You deserved it 208

Today, I finally got everything in order to ask out the girl of my dreams. I bought her a gold necklace, engraved with our names, and with the date on the back. Everything was going great until she got sick and had to go home. Now I'm stuck with this necklace with the wrong date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 671

You deserved it 53 413

Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner to an expensive restaurant. He overate, and now I have to nurse him through food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 439

You deserved it 257

Today, I got written up because apparently leaning on the counter at work is unprofessional, even if you're about to pass out and the counter is the only thing keeping you on your feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 567

You deserved it 2 395

Today, my boyfriend returned from University after 8 months away. He says he cannot wait to see me. The whole half an hour ride to his home, I was shaking like a leaf. I’m still sitting his driveway because I don’t know how to tell him that I’m 5 months pregnant. Yes, I’m showing. A LOT. FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 5 449