Miscellaneous: Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my...

By stupidtoothpick2 - 16/08/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 270

You deserved it 8 489

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By ouch - 05/10/2015 19:20 - United States - Stockton

Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 876

You deserved it 3 771

By Anonymous - 06/09/2013 11:55 - United States - Louisville

Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 609

You deserved it 2 893

By Ilovelife07 - 19/09/2009 04:47 - United States

Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 721

You deserved it 9 587

Great idea

By dumbbb - 27/12/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 264

You deserved it 46 028

Pizza mystery

By Pick out the picks - 24/09/2022 15:30 - United States

Today, I picked out a toothpick from a pizza. This is not the first time I've had to do this. It is also not the first time that I didn't see it until less than a second before I bit down on the piece with the toothpick embedded in it. Looks like there's a toothpick assassin on the loose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 128

Best teeth in the game

By floss can't skewer people - 22/09/2021 02:00

Today, my stepfather refused to drive me to the hospital after having a toothpick that was left on the floor lodge itself and break off in the bottom of my foot. He's the only person in the house that uses toothpicks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 208

You deserved it 91

By S. - 26/08/2012 16:20 - Estonia

Today, I bought a pack of toothpicks. There were 500 of them. When I got home I accidentally dropped the pack. After twenty long minutes of picking them up, I dropped them again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 289

You deserved it 12 745

By monkeycannon7 - 24/04/2012 16:36 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 346

You deserved it 29 704

Hangry dude

By Anonymous - 07/08/2021 20:01

Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 247

Added flavor

By Toothless - 07/10/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 199

You deserved it 6 417

imajinethat 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 16:28

Uhm, floss. Duh.

ScatteredMind 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 16:28

seriously dude? that's an fml??

Comments

Bumlove89 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 19:35

You and the dude who got a paper cut should get together and write a novel.

good_life35 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 19:56

LMFAO; this made my day :)

DameGreyWulf 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 20:03

Hey, I thought something similar too.

Butterfly_D 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 19:57

It's called floss.

john_bell 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 20:13

I couldn't give a shit

vita_questa_roba 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 20:26

Ew. Not something I would be posting on the internet. Seriously.

SomeRandomGuy18 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 20:40

Floss is for niggers.

himynameisanna 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 20:51

damn, you must have some pretty big ******* teeth.

himynameisanna 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 20:54

hahaha i second that :P

i_is_a_tr00l 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 21:08

YDI FOR BEING A PEDOPHILE!!

StraightUp 1

Sunday 16 August 2009 21:47

Um is everyone retarded? OP should have just used the other side of the toothpick. The tip of the toothpick broke, and usually theres 2 ends to a toothpick. idk.

StraightUp 1

Sunday 16 August 2009 21:47

Um is everyone retarded? OP should have just used the other side of the toothpick. The tip of the toothpick broke, and usually theres 2 ends to a toothpick. idk.