Work: Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment?... - FML

By hospital - 05/10/2010 23:36 - United States

Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 114

You deserved it 5 672

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Same thing different taste

By dr mamour - 30/01/2013 21:57 - France - Paris

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 089

You deserved it 4 088

By not as scarred as he should be - 18/10/2012 18:19 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 766

You deserved it 3 342

By jonh_215 - 08/04/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, as a going away present after five years of military service and one combat tour, the hospital scheduled me for a prostate exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 041

You deserved it 4 005

By WTFFAIL - 03/12/2012 05:06 - Canada - Montreal

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 576

You deserved it 9 006

By Anonymous - 31/03/2015 03:52 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Today, it was my first day working as a dental assistant, leaving me in charge of all cleaning. The first patient was so scared, he peed his pants. Which might have been understandable if he hadn't been a fully grown man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 493

You deserved it 2 473

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:46 - United States - Detroit

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 553

You deserved it 2 553

Wrong place, wrong time

By Matthew - 10/03/2021 00:30

Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 132

So, here's the thing…

By HairyBoobs - 05/11/2009 14:22 - United States

Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 412

You deserved it 6 888

By Buggga - 22/08/2009 09:07 - Australia

Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 080

You deserved it 12 601

We could be heroes

By OhPleaseNo - 07/04/2020 14:00 - OhPleaseNo

Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 711

You deserved it 204

Next

Top comments

knibbsy 4

Wednesday 6 October 2010 9:06

Man, you're new job is nuts! What a hairy situation. You did some hangin' around the office, only to get low-balled by your boss.

xxxbooxxx 16

Wednesday 6 October 2010 9:00

Eww!!

Comments

mockingjay_fml 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 15:17

well , that's the sort of thing you have to do in the hospital . he was probably getting surgery there or something . sure , it was probably awkward , but it's not that big of a deal.

chocolatetoes 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 15:38

Ewww! Talk about getting shafted at work! That blows! Still funny though! ;)

xIxAMxAxGUY 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 15:45

99 shut up you stupid ugly *****.

angelofmusik22 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 19:34

Well, that's only some of the things you have to do. It's a hospital, get used to seeing people naked. lol.

Evafml123 0

Friday 8 October 2010 3:21

so you got a little action... that's not so bad. haha jk. I feel bad. ;)

Houdeka 0

Friday 8 October 2010 6:10

Pull your thong out of your ass and be a man. Shave that ******'s balls!

samanthar 0

Friday 8 October 2010 12:13

well they tell u to be prepared for anything....that's what they meant lol

bri_panda 0

Friday 8 October 2010 20:51

you liked it don't lie.

anythingmustbe 18

Saturday 9 October 2010 3:14

Dont worry that was you first day they gave you an easy job trust me it will get nastier

chelsamphetamine 0

Saturday 9 October 2010 5:16

welcome to being a nursing assistant. unless you aren't a cna. then they are just messing with you bad hahaha

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The Top

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 784

You deserved it 22 714

Today, I called back a number I'd recently missed a call from. To my surprise, it was my boyfriend's fiancée's number. I've been with him four years, he's been with her for six. Turns out, not only is he a cheating jerk, but technically I'M the other woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 136

You deserved it 4 976

The Top

Today, I was stopped by a cop while walking down the street. He was slowly trailing me before pulling along side of me and asking how my night was going. He then said, "You know I can't let you do this. Know those new jeans you bought? The sticker is still on the leg" and drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 310

You deserved it 37 012

Today, I got a 25-cent raise at work. That would be wonderful, had they not cut 6 hours off my schedule as well. I'm now making $200 less a month than I was pre-raise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 905

You deserved it 104

Today, I stopped at the coffee shop before work and confidently ordered "my usual." The barista looked confused but nodded. When my drink came, it was completely wrong. Turns out, I was in the wrong coffee shop. I was too embarrassed to correct them, so I drank a weird matcha-pumpkin spice sludge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 763

Today, I overheard the guy who hired me talking to one of my managers in hushed tones about me. I'm pretty sure he's going to send me an email soon, saying that my job "probably isn't the right fit" for me, which is part of what I overheard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 70

Today, my cat has figured out that while I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up for my baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 388

You deserved it 4 223

Today, my husband asked if we could try food play during sex. I okayed it, thinking it would be the standard squirty cream or chocolate sauce. Let’s just say I was not expecting him to be eating crispy bacon and blue cheese sauce off my boobs. Good Lord, I married a weirdo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 206

You deserved it 532