Health: Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my...

By Sick - 24/02/2009 20:34 - Canada

Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 673

You deserved it 6 174

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Same thing different taste

Hurry up

By lauren_rox - 08/11/2009 17:50 - Canada

Today, I was waiting at home for a phone call. While I was in the bathroom, the phone rang. I quickly stopped my business and ran out of the bathroom with my pants round my ankles. I leaped over the couch, tripping and then stubbing my toe while hopping to the phone. It was a telemarketer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 426

You deserved it 13 706

Night fight

By FistFighter - 09/04/2011 04:01 - United States

Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 934

You deserved it 12 976

Panic!

By Bleach dat Blood - 20/07/2015 03:02

Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 115

You deserved it 3 812

By Anonymous - 30/04/2009 12:16 - United States

Today, my phone started ringing in the other room. I ran to go pick it up, tripped over my coffee table which gashed my leg, and knocked over my brand new 50" LCD TV, which broke over my head. Turns out it was a wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 436

You deserved it 15 298

By Amy - 10/05/2012 19:14 - Canada - Prince George

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 039

You deserved it 5 237

Noise Annoys

By Anonymous - 22/08/2019 06:04

Today, at three in the morning, I rolled out of bed in my sleep, landing butt-first into my trash can and scraping my arm on my bedside table. I cleaned up the mess I'd made and tried to stop my arm from bleeding. During which, my dad banged on the door and told me to keep it down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 555

You deserved it 214

Kinda sus, dude

By Owie - 14/06/2023 12:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I had to go to the ER to treat a sprain on my left arm. What caused it? A phone. You read that right. A phone. Particularly, my husband’s phone. It was on the table where I was standing and with one swift motion, he yanked my arm, pulled me out of the way, and snatched the thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 97

By Sleepy - 31/05/2015 15:51 - United States - Apo

Today, the phone kept ringing so I picked it up and answered. When there was no response, it took a minute to realize that I was still in bed and talking to my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 480

You deserved it 5 035

By jellybean - 06/11/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 802

You deserved it 11 005

By Nickname - 12/10/2011 20:05 - United States

Today, I went to the emergency room for busting my lip open, I had to lie and tell them I slipped and fell. In reality I was singing with the soap bottle and slammed it into my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 762

You deserved it 13 859

beekers 0

Tuesday 24 February 2009 23:08

Wow, you got beat up by yourself. That takes a lot of talent.

vampireknight 0

Tuesday 24 February 2009 23:25

how the ****?...i would like to see a reinactment. but dont worry it sounded like something id do

Comments

deathburger13 0

Monday 1 June 2009 23:04

I can only imagine how that conversation went afterwards Telemarketer: "Hello Sir or Madam. Can I interest you in some-" OP: "SH*T F***ING DAMMIT! MY F***ING NOSE! BLOOD EVERYWHEREEEEEEEEE" Telemarketer: "..."

rocker8877 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 13:54

******* telemarketers... This happened to e the other day except I didn't beat the crap out of myself

qwerty123456789 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 4:03

I know a kid who had to get stitches from running into a piece of string...

viickykaulitz 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 15:38

pwned.. by yourself. takes talent, hahhah smooth.

antonioohama 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 7:51

www.donotcall.gov That's the national Do Not Call registry. If you're in the USA, go there and register all of your USA phone numbers. Then if a telemarketer calls you more than a month after you register, go to that site again and click “file a complaint” . BTW, I registered a year ago and since then, I got only one telemarketer call. That company got sued by the government.

banacafalata 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 8:36

See? Telemarketers are bad for your health! Did you tell them what they caused? Then again, telemarketers are good value too when you're bored during the day and they call, it's fun to see who will hang up first. Once you work out who they are, don't let them get a word in and sing to them, or tell them a story that would make it too awkward for them to talk to you anymore and just hang up :)

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv 2

Saturday 20 February 2010 1:04

Hahahaha! Better than the actual FML itself!

Trav42 0

Thursday 13 May 2010 5:15

lmao really close

starberries 0

Sunday 7 November 2010 2:54

Why the hell are there so many stories about people injuring themselves trying to get to the phone? Jesus, let it go to voicemail, it's not worth getting hurt over!

abbyfish98 0

Friday 15 July 2011 9:08

dude! almost tha exact same thing happened to me! except it was my leg. the phone rang, so I hopped off my couch not knowing it was asleep, and I fell straight on my face and couldn't get up