Miscellaneous: Today, I stepped outside for a smoke. It was 1 a.m. Thinking...

By FlGirl - 24/12/2009 07:00 - United States

Today, I stepped outside for a smoke. It was 1 a.m. Thinking no one was around, I let out a series of loud, nasty-sounding farts. I looked over to my left to see the neighbor, whom I've never met, also smoking, and staring at me. That was his first impression of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 727

You deserved it 34 066

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Same thing different taste

By Fartfail - 18/04/2012 13:43 - Hong Kong - Corozal

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 800

You deserved it 6 776

By Stinky and Single - 06/08/2015 23:14 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 765

You deserved it 6 707

By Matti - 17/08/2018 22:00

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 193

You deserved it 241

Basic communication

By Tim - 16/06/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 023

You deserved it 6 022

Elephant

By frank - 26/03/2021 23:01

Today, I farted in my office, assuming nobody would come in until the smoke cleared. The new girl then came in to introduce herself. She had her hands on her nose the whole time, while we both awkwardly tried to ignore the stank elephant in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 482

Better out than in

By flying13 - 03/11/2010 07:27 - United States

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 525

You deserved it 13 279

An attempt was made

By bubblewrap - 20/10/2015 10:13 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 799

You deserved it 11 968

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 640

Stealth bomber

By Jogger - 19/08/2020 14:01

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 136

Gas giant

By morgan - 09/04/2021 23:00

Today, while laying in bed, I let out a huge fart. I then heard my roommate yell from outside my room, "Did you think you were alone?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 305

perdix 29

Thursday 24 December 2009 16:15

So, was there chemistry between you?

shananigans 0

Thursday 24 December 2009 16:57

A smoker AND a serial farter? F your neighbor's life.

Comments

cherub1825_fml 1

Friday 27 August 2010 1:37

Haha look around next time

hellokimmiee 5

Sunday 16 January 2011 21:36

theres always gonna be someone around when you decide to pass gas

TeenieAmerica 9

Tuesday 1 March 2011 16:02

Wow, I'm not a smoker, but people, stop saying she deserves it for smoking. The post really has nothing to do with smoking at all. And really, just because someone smokes doesn't mean they're nasty.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 19 November 2011 23:19

I concur, people that smoke ARE nasty because they always have that disgusting cigarette smell on them. They walk right by you and you smell it, which makes you even more susceptible to lung cancer. It's easier to get lung cancer from second-hand smoke than first-hand smoke, but smokers just continue doing it. I walked into class one day after someone had been smoking outside and the first thing someone said to me was, "Do you smoke?" The other person's cigarette smoke had nestled into my hair and clothes, which made people think that I was the one who smoked. So yes, smokers are nasty. And OP does deserve it, because she stepped outside to smoke, and then farted. Had she not smoked, she wouldn't have had to step outside, and thus wouldn't have farted outside, therefore her neighbor wouldn't have heard it.

CsDy1395 6

Monday 23 May 2011 5:24

smoking is a lot more nasty than farting.

ChangMu 8

Tuesday 31 May 2011 2:07

ydi for smoking.

Punkpoptart1119 20

Thursday 21 July 2011 6:02

Why is everyone saying she deserves this for farting? Farting is a natural thing. We all do it. God forbid one of you fart..the world would end. Seriously, get a life. I'll be honest and say I would've done the same thing. If you think nobody is around than why not? OP just happened to fart at the wrong time. She thought that at 1 am, that nobody would be out, its an honest mistake..FYL OP. Who knows, maybe your neighbor will come over and get to know who's behind those farts. =)