Miscellaneous: Today, I stepped outside for a smoke. It was 1 a.m. Thinking...

By FlGirl - 24/12/2009 07:00 - United States

Today, I stepped outside for a smoke. It was 1 a.m. Thinking no one was around, I let out a series of loud, nasty-sounding farts. I looked over to my left to see the neighbor, whom I've never met, also smoking, and staring at me. That was his first impression of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 727

You deserved it 34 066

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Same thing different taste

By Fartfail - 18/04/2012 13:43 - Hong Kong - Corozal

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 800

You deserved it 6 776

By Stinky and Single - 06/08/2015 23:14 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 765

You deserved it 6 707

By Matti - 17/08/2018 22:00

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 193

You deserved it 241

Basic communication

By Tim - 16/06/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 023

You deserved it 6 022

Elephant

By frank - 26/03/2021 23:01

Today, I farted in my office, assuming nobody would come in until the smoke cleared. The new girl then came in to introduce herself. She had her hands on her nose the whole time, while we both awkwardly tried to ignore the stank elephant in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 482

Better out than in

By flying13 - 03/11/2010 07:27 - United States

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 525

You deserved it 13 279

An attempt was made

By bubblewrap - 20/10/2015 10:13 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 799

You deserved it 11 968

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 640

Stealth bomber

By Jogger - 19/08/2020 14:01

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 136

Gas giant

By morgan - 09/04/2021 23:00

Today, while laying in bed, I let out a huge fart. I then heard my roommate yell from outside my room, "Did you think you were alone?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 305

perdix 29

Thursday 24 December 2009 16:15

So, was there chemistry between you?

shananigans 0

Thursday 24 December 2009 16:57

A smoker AND a serial farter? F your neighbor's life.

Comments

sadistmonkey 19

Saturday 26 December 2009 18:01

The comments here really reinforce my hate of non-smokers. And I don't smoke cigarettes either.

gamerboy13666 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 1:02

lol if i was ur neighbor id laugh my ass off btw smoking is bad

Whatsername86 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 17:24

OK... this post really isn't even about the cigarette so stop saying "YDI for smoking" or "Ew smoking is sooo gross" it is really none of your business if the OP smokes.