Intimacy: Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for...

By okay._. - 01/11/2012 07:54 - United States - Marysville

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 514

You deserved it 7 411

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By princess - 17/03/2009 05:06 - Canada

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 963

You deserved it 40 648

By sissica - 11/02/2009 23:52 - United States

Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 195

You deserved it 6 630

Easy

By pokie - 30/08/2009 05:38 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 927

You deserved it 9 445

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 17:59 - United States - Imperial

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 088

You deserved it 7 767

Hello everyone!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 08:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 085

You deserved it 373

By -___- - 29/09/2013 19:46 - United States - Winfield

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 780

You deserved it 27 695

Turn it off

By Anonymous - 26/03/2022 06:00

Today, I got dressed up in lingerie for my boyfriend. He looked at me, said, "Nice," then went back to watching TV and drinking beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 159

You deserved it 171

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 375

You deserved it 17 912

By Anonymous - 27/10/2014 06:01 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for Halloween. He said "Single". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 010

You deserved it 5 185

By jodibut - 06/02/2012 16:18 - United States

Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 764

You deserved it 8 060

bladomas 2

Thursday 1 November 2012 15:06

why not both? serve him while naked

ManInTheMachine 19

Thursday 1 November 2012 15:06

I think you took him too literally, OP. Guys are crazy about the kinky cook. Just put on an apron, start cooking, and pasta might not be the only thing on the menu. ;)

Comments

doglover100 28

Friday 2 November 2012 0:33

Dinner in the nude.

JRSOne 5

Friday 2 November 2012 0:37

These ones remind me of movies that's the only time someone is serious when they talk like that. If your S/O is really honestly like that and he TRULY meant that.. In my opinion it's time to leave. But if I had to guess he was being facetious

_TheAtheist_ 10

Friday 2 November 2012 2:15

To all the feminist tweens commenting: the text was clearly an attempt at some light hearted humor. I could easily imagine doing the same to my girlfriend, but I would never treat her like she exists to serve me. Lighten up.

yentlben 2

Friday 2 November 2012 3:43

Dress up as the UPS person and ship his belongings elsewhere.

chinagirl3343 8

Friday 2 November 2012 4:14

I would've replied back "no, but you can dress up as a guy sleeping on the couch". Lol

SquishFish 15

Friday 2 November 2012 4:29

If he's hungry, then it's not going anywhere! Low blood sugar definitely doesn't help romance ;)

droln4maltesers 8

Friday 2 November 2012 4:31

And this is the part where you reply back with something witty... My boyfriend will say that crap to me and I reply back with something even wittier which cracks him up. Oh and he's making us dinner right now soooo it looks like I'm doing something right

petshark 4

Friday 2 November 2012 4:58

ooooooold and annoying!

Jirekianu2 19

Friday 2 November 2012 4:58

Gotta love the attitude that a guy is an asshole when not in the mood. And that it's okay for him to be pressured into sex. But if you switch those circumstances the guy pressuring for sex is an inconsiderate douche.