Miscellaneous: Today, I told a girl that she had very pretty eyes. I then had...

By Anonymous - 06/09/2012 01:34 - Canada

Today, I told a girl that she had very pretty eyes. I then had to rinse pepper spray from my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 930

You deserved it 2 893

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Same thing different taste

I'm not sad. Or am I?

By Dr Pepper - 22/05/2019 18:05

Today, to protect me from the 'bad people' out there, my mom bought some pepper spray. While trying to test it, I accidentally sprayed myself in the eyes. Now, every person I meet asks me what I've been crying about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 1 711

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 18:45 - United States

Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 284

You deserved it 79 716

By Anonymous - 09/11/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I told the woman that I've had a crush on for some time how I felt. She laughed so hard that water sprayed from her nose and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 609

You deserved it 2 916

The opposite of a good idea

By gorokhan2 - 27/04/2020 17:00

Today, I wanted to prank my girlfriend by giving her a jump scare. Right before I tried to scare her in an empty parking lot, she turned towards me, pepper-sprayed me in the eyes and kicked me in the balls. When she realized it was me, she called me an asshole and dumped on the spot and drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 4 427

By Anonymous - 23/08/2012 16:14 - United States - Clarksburg

Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 762

You deserved it 1 953

How? Why?

By WetMorning - 05/11/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, my day started with me peeing in my own face. My eye still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 672

By DSM - 14/03/2009 11:05 - United States

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 811

You deserved it 117 398

Fast response

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 577

You deserved it 4 276

Eau de toilette

By anon - 05/03/2011 10:15 - United States

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 510

You deserved it 3 124

Lumpy

By popeye - 25/02/2010 15:18 - United States

Today, I was trying to take the cap off a can of spray cooking oil. It was really stuck so I pulled extra hard. It flew off and I punched myself in the head. I also sprayed myself in the eye with it. The lump on my forehead and my swollen shut eye make me look like Popeye, but I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 105

You deserved it 5 359

DaDezza244 31

Thursday 6 September 2012 9:21

What a bitch. At least you were being kind :) sorry to hear about your eyes

A100893 30

Thursday 6 September 2012 9:22

I guess you didn't see eye to eye.

Comments

88vivera 9

Saturday 8 September 2012 20:18

Why? What happened?

Pumpykin 3

Saturday 8 September 2012 21:01

Aww , how rude . Some people automaticallyy think everyone who says something nice is a rapist . I hope your eyes feel better !

Blahblah9921 4

Sunday 9 September 2012 1:26

wow tht was rude

wikedjest 0

Monday 10 September 2012 10:26

some people can't take compliments our are expecting a trick if they get complimented. sorry that happined to you

Bludmagnus 13

Thursday 20 September 2012 10:55

Nah... feminism hasn't gone too far... No...

Erto 17

Friday 1 August 2014 3:49

Conceited bitch

russiancat464 12

Thursday 14 August 2014 0:55

whenever I see a clever comment, I just loudly say "HEAHH" and move on

TisButAScratch 10

Sunday 17 April 2016 6:29

Did she call you a mysogonistic pig afterwards

Andrei I 9

Sunday 15 April 2018 13:20

you could file charges for assault with a weapon

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