Intimacy: Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me... - FML

By fmysexlife - 27/07/2009 05:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 639

You deserved it 15 440

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Same thing different taste

Bed move

By wellokthen - 26/11/2019 18:00 - United States - Birmingham

Spicy

Today, my friend sent me a link to a porn video. The guy in it was my boyfriend, the girl in it wasn't me, but they were in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 172

You deserved it 286

Kinky

By sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Spicy

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 184

You deserved it 12 021

By fuckadaisical - 06/12/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 440

You deserved it 8 903

By giantcuntflaps - 13/12/2014 16:03 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 530

You deserved it 6 872

By thismakesmesad - 07/09/2011 16:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 438

You deserved it 7 587

Dirty talk

By Username - 24/02/2010 15:06

Spicy

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 784

You deserved it 4 770

Hangry sex

By Krissy - 06/04/2012 02:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 185

You deserved it 4 857

By thoughtitwasspecial - 18/05/2011 05:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found a link to a porn website on my boyfriend's computer. A bit jealous, I asked why it was there. He told me that he thought thinking of me might get boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 551

You deserved it 20 766

How could you?

By datingmrpicky - 22/08/2011 03:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 508

You deserved it 36 993

Tasty!

By Username - 31/01/2011 15:47

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 101

You deserved it 5 731

Next

Top comments

iLIAMMM 0

Monday 27 July 2009 12:04

I hope you made him a sandwich.

ihatewankers 0

Monday 27 July 2009 12:18

Next time he tells you he's horny, send him a link to "2 girls 1 cup", then tell him to make his own ******* sandwich.

Comments

Dre2K4You 0

Monday 29 March 2010 5:37

pastrami on rye?

TaylorHK 0

Monday 12 April 2010 5:01

That is both is both hilarious and inspired.

d4m4s74 12

Friday 4 June 2010 20:35

why is this an FML? if you didn't make him the ******* sammich its a fml for him!

mackattack9 9

Sunday 6 June 2010 2:39

at least u got a boyfriend

likeyah64 3

Monday 7 June 2010 23:20

Nice. I would have strangled him , tho.

My2864 1

Thursday 10 June 2010 3:51

win win win win WIN thats all theres to it

Pissedoff2464 0

Monday 14 June 2010 8:32

That's ******* hilarious!!!!!!! if I were you, I wouldve shaved my pubes off and put them in his damn sandwhich. hahahaha

Sarah6244 0

Thursday 1 July 2010 3:57

He probably wanted to see if you would acually look it up. ydi for doing it.

magaliwoodrock 19

Tuesday 6 July 2010 19:20

whats up with guys and sandwiches! lol i swearr.

fiblydinkerton 0

Saturday 26 November 2011 22:17

Everything

JxWOODZ 0

Wednesday 7 July 2010 18:30

don't u hate when that happens

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Keywords

Health Kids Alcohol Students Work Miscellaneous Fight Parents Am I overreacting? Shopping AITA Parenting Weird Awkward Poopoo peepee Love Sex I need your advice Art Relatable Family Animals Cats Money Skincare Party Neighbours Cops Crush Furniture

The Top

Today, I caught a man screwing my girlfriend in my house so I lost my temper and hit him right in the jaw. He wasn’t hurt, not even a bruise. I meanwhile have a broken finger and a sprained wrist because, as he put it, “You really don’t know how to throw a punch, like… at all.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 223

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 803

You deserved it 3 983

The Top

Today, my boyfriend bought a new toaster. It not only pops up the bread when done, it also beeps loudly. It makes me scream in terror every single time. My boyfriend has now vowed to "Toast 'til the end of time." It's going to be a long year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 148

You deserved it 4 473

Today, my mom demanded that I go into the basement and fix the water heater. I told her that I had no idea how to fix it, so she threw my phone down the stairs, told me to Google it, and locked the basement door behind me. It's been two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 825

You deserved it 3 231

Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 918

You deserved it 4 052

Today, my husband seems to think sex once a month is adequate, and that it’s acceptable to nap on the sofa once he gets home from work, wake up for dinner, then go straight to bed. I also can’t speak to him while he’s eating, because he’s watching tv. I thought I had a husband, not a roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 503

You deserved it 224

Today, the girl who lived downstairs and who was also sleeping with my guy moved out. She left a stack of my mail she had been taking at my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 99

Today, while meeting some of the big boss guys at my new job, one of the men sneezed on his hand and then grabbed mine for a handshake. I felt every gooey bit of his snot between our hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 891

You deserved it 988