Intimacy: Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me... - FML

By fmysexlife - 27/07/2009 05:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 639

You deserved it 15 440

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Same thing different taste

Bed move

By wellokthen - 26/11/2019 18:00 - United States - Birmingham

Spicy

Today, my friend sent me a link to a porn video. The guy in it was my boyfriend, the girl in it wasn't me, but they were in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 172

You deserved it 286

Kinky

By sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Spicy

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 184

You deserved it 12 021

By fuckadaisical - 06/12/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 440

You deserved it 8 903

By giantcuntflaps - 13/12/2014 16:03 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 530

You deserved it 6 872

By thismakesmesad - 07/09/2011 16:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 438

You deserved it 7 587

Dirty talk

By Username - 24/02/2010 15:06

Spicy

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 784

You deserved it 4 770

Hangry sex

By Krissy - 06/04/2012 02:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 185

You deserved it 4 857

By thoughtitwasspecial - 18/05/2011 05:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found a link to a porn website on my boyfriend's computer. A bit jealous, I asked why it was there. He told me that he thought thinking of me might get boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 551

You deserved it 20 766

How could you?

By datingmrpicky - 22/08/2011 03:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 508

You deserved it 36 993

Tasty!

By Username - 31/01/2011 15:47

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 101

You deserved it 5 731

Next

Top comments

iLIAMMM 0

Monday 27 July 2009 12:04

I hope you made him a sandwich.

ihatewankers 0

Monday 27 July 2009 12:18

Next time he tells you he's horny, send him a link to "2 girls 1 cup", then tell him to make his own ******* sandwich.

Comments

PepsiMerch 4

Saturday 16 July 2011 4:34

that's genius...funniest thing ever.

xxchampionxx 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 7:43

har har you better make sandwhichs for him cause he just raped you. just kidding rape isn't funny. completely kidding of course rape is funny. like the long comment.

Alfonsooo 0

Monday 25 July 2011 1:15

it was probably meant as a sexist joke...

mastersmurf 13

Friday 12 August 2011 21:23

he's a keeper, i hope you did it.

TritonTheBeast 0

Wednesday 24 August 2011 7:55

WINNING

Impulseforyou 6

Saturday 27 August 2011 22:19

Haha thats funny! youre boyfriend wins! XD

alkaid 14

Sunday 28 August 2011 5:10

Im in love with your bf! LOL

_chrisbluee 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 0:15

hahaha!

gms16 2

Friday 21 October 2011 0:46

Haha! Classic.

tehemokid666 0

Friday 28 October 2011 0:08

Holy **** that was great.

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Keywords

Work Awkward Embarrassing Money Insects Intimacy Sex Cats Animals Kids Health Neighbours First Dates Dating Love Students Alcohol Fight Parents Miscellaneous Shopping Am I overreacting? AITA Parenting Poopoo peepee Weird Cheating Drugs I need your advice Art

The Top

Today, I deleted all of my dating apps because apparently something is wrong with me. I've been on 20 different dates this year and nothing has come out of it. I feel like I have the plague and no one wants to be near me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 153

Today, after already having a terrible day, I went to Starbucks for an espresso. Being nice, I put the last dollar I had in my wallet in their tip jar. While paying for my drink, my card was denied for insufficient funds. The world hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 776

You deserved it 6 458

The Top

Today, my boss screamed at me for almost an hour because, apparently, I hurt my coworker's feelings when I stopped speaking to her after finding out that she was sleeping with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 685

You deserved it 2 750

Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 617

You deserved it 3 909

Today, after a few of my friends decided to drink last night, and my best friend ended up getting very drunk and confessing to my boyfriend that she loves him, her brother came over and gave me a lecture about responsibilities. I don't know what's worse, the lecture or the fact that her brother is my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 164

Today, I got another parking ticket because I can't afford a parking pass for the school I attend. I now have over $700 in unpaid parking tickets. I have classes all day from Monday-Thursday. I work Friday-Sunday. They recently cut hours at work. Some days I can't afford to feed myself. My mom said, "Figure it out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 473

Today, I was verbally abused by a guy in a 4-wheel-drive twat-tank for listening to music on my iPod while I was "blocking the way." I was standing on the footpath waiting for a bus. At a bus stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 481

You deserved it 2 710

Today, I found out why my doctor told me not to mix pain killers with alcohol when I was told that last night I tried to convince a group of teenage tourists that I was one of the nitwits from One Direction, and then got miffed when they laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 248

You deserved it 40 027