Intimacy: Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous...

By pleasedie - 07/05/2015 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 035

You deserved it 6 802

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Same thing different taste

By kinkicali - 20/11/2012 08:43 - United States - Maple Valley

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 498

You deserved it 36 511

Sexy moves

By what sex life? - 02/08/2016 06:26 - United States - Nashville

Today, while in the shower with my boyfriend, I tried to heat things up by washing his knob with my loofa. He couldn't stop laughing and eventually laughed so hard that he slipped and fell. He now has a bruised butt while I have a missing toenail from catching his fall. Ouch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 291

You deserved it 2 896

Wrong sort of poking

By Anonymous - 22/09/2013 05:40 - United States - Brandon

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 193

You deserved it 9 739

Sick moves, dude

By Anonymous - 02/09/2009 09:20 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 405

You deserved it 4 241

One nation, under rod

By LaLa - 20/09/2019 22:00

Today, I was fooling around with my partner after his shower. He moved my hands up to push me against the wall. Instead of hitting the wall, my hands hit the shower rod. It fell on my face and I got a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 511

You deserved it 213

So generous

By noway - 10/08/2011 17:47 - Singapore

Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 164

You deserved it 7 104

No nut will do that

By Anonymous - 02/05/2023 00:00

Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 1 338

By GasAttack - 07/09/2009 13:32 - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 474

You deserved it 8 533

By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 22:00 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 960

You deserved it 6 539

Heat of passion

By owl + bungee cord - 07/01/2014 20:38 - United States - Herndon

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 538

You deserved it 10 056

Welshite 39

Friday 8 May 2015 0:10

Definitely not the type of head he was expecting.

Krwman 8

Friday 8 May 2015 0:11

Well, your heart is in the right place; even if the rest of you wasn't.

Comments

Markovski 18

Friday 8 May 2015 0:43

FHL, let's all take a moment for OP boyfriend's balls.

jackroarrr 25

Friday 8 May 2015 0:56

HAHAHA FHL

rhysfucker 24

Friday 8 May 2015 0:58

A+ for effort. C- for execution. Practice makes perfect!

Scryll 17

Friday 8 May 2015 5:09

Yeah she didn't quite get a D...

Ichiya 29

Friday 8 May 2015 9:26

Oh no I think she hit the D right on the head.

FutBol_Fan_30 29

Friday 8 May 2015 0:58

I cringed just reading this. Ouch

gabby_john_ 15

Friday 8 May 2015 1:03

Too bad he didn't get sucked as well

MasterBob_fml 14

Friday 8 May 2015 1:12

Time to have a long talk with him and get a new boyfriend.

VeganDarkLight 31

Friday 8 May 2015 1:25

I see what you did there.

keiNan_fml 35

Friday 8 May 2015 5:34

#34 no you didn't.

Ichiya 29

Friday 8 May 2015 9:27

Master Bob!

jacky75_fml 21

Friday 8 May 2015 1:14

This is not the kind of head job he was expecting.

YourOpinionSucks 22

Friday 8 May 2015 1:16

Your definition of adventurous is giving your boyfriend a *******? Your sex life must be SO fun. (Sarcasm, for you FML-nazis that didn't get it.)

mergeterge 24

Friday 8 May 2015 8:12

Wow. So judgmental! I think most people taking a shower before getting ready for the day would consider a quick ******** to be at least a little adventurous! It also takes a fair amount of confidence on behalf of the giver...