Intimacy: Today, I tried having intercourse with my boyfriend, and about... - FML

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By VampiresSayRawr - 28/03/2009 03:16 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I tried having intercourse with my boyfriend, and about 30 seconds in, I heard flipping. He was looking at a porn magazine. "It's to keep my erection" he answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 736

You deserved it 9 801

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Same thing different taste

By giantcuntflaps - 13/12/2014 16:03 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 544

You deserved it 6 874

Booktok

By eakthegeek - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 775

You deserved it 7 074

Booming

By Anonymous - 26/04/2013 22:22 - United States - Arvada

Spicy

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 943

You deserved it 10 205

Actor's Studio

By darthmilfious - 31/03/2010 07:56 - France

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 688

You deserved it 69 167

You've tried this before, right?

By xxxzzzooo - 02/01/2010 17:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 572

You deserved it 3 809

Come again

By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 07:35

Spicy

Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 997

You deserved it 62 552

What is it?

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 22:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 216

You deserved it 8 230

By apparently inexperienced - 11/09/2012 16:54 - United States - Brockton

Spicy

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 776

You deserved it 6 498

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 19:01 - Netherlands - Herkenbosch

Spicy

Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 485

You deserved it 6 681

By princess - 12/04/2014 21:01 - United States - San Marcos

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 599

You deserved it 7 165

Next

Top comments

dlogsr 1

Saturday 28 March 2009 11:13

maybe because you called it "intercourse".

danza_fml 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 10:49

30 seconds? No comment.

Comments

Phantom034 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 21:07

Agree with #16. Everybody gets so angry at small things when they have sex.

goldfish27 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 21:23

i guess 'tried' is the key word here.

No_Words24 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 21:39

honestly??? OUCH!! 30 seconds?? what were u doing? sleeping?? no one gets bored THAT easily!!!

dcapp 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 22:04

this is so fake

losamo 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 22:35

what were you doing to have not seen the magazine as soon as he got it?

roflmaonade 2

Saturday 28 March 2009 22:43

maybe because you talk like "i tried to have intercourse" that he can't get hard. understandable

shawleigh17 2

Sunday 29 March 2009 0:03

I agree with #52.

lains 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 0:03

This was on Sex & The City, except it was videos.

noellemarie 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 0:58

GET OVER THE WORD INTERCOURSE. wow

druggs 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 1:44

#5 hahahahahah. i was thinking the same thing....

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