Intimacy: Today, I tried having intercourse with my boyfriend, and about...

By VampiresSayRawr - 28/03/2009 03:16 - Canada

Today, I tried having intercourse with my boyfriend, and about 30 seconds in, I heard flipping. He was looking at a porn magazine. "It's to keep my erection" he answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 723

You deserved it 9 798

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By giantcuntflaps - 13/12/2014 16:03 - Australia

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 530

You deserved it 6 872

Booktok

By eakthegeek - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 731

You deserved it 7 055

Booming

By Anonymous - 26/04/2013 22:22 - United States - Arvada

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 936

You deserved it 10 200

Actor's Studio

By darthmilfious - 31/03/2010 07:56 - France

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 684

You deserved it 69 143

You've tried this before, right?

By xxxzzzooo - 02/01/2010 17:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 563

You deserved it 3 808

Come again

By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 07:35

Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 995

You deserved it 62 531

What is it?

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 195

You deserved it 8 223

By apparently inexperienced - 11/09/2012 16:54 - United States - Brockton

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 769

You deserved it 6 491

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 19:01 - Netherlands - Herkenbosch

Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 482

You deserved it 6 678

By princess - 12/04/2014 21:01 - United States - San Marcos

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 589

You deserved it 7 164

dlogsr 1

Saturday 28 March 2009 11:13

maybe because you called it "intercourse".

danza_fml 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 10:49

30 seconds? No comment.

Comments

f_ckerdef_ck 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 18:55

agree #5

Common_Sense 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 19:08

I totally agree with #5, it sounds like you two have no passion. Maybe you should look at **** together for some inspiration or excitement. And it's true that he may just jerk off too much, but either way, it seems like you two have a lot to talk about.

Zoa_fml 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 19:51

What position were you in that you didn't even notice he was looking at a magazine until you heard him flipping through the pages?

brittanylynn 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 20:08

thats stupid.

fuckmylife431413 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 21:20

fake, no guy is that big of a dick. im sure every guy on here can back me up...

coollifebtch 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 22:08

okay if you're not turning him on, you should change a few things. for starters, STOP CALLING INTERCOURSE.

HahahaThatsFunny 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 23:58

Stupid jerk

maiden_girl 5

Monday 30 March 2009 1:39

Ummm, why not just look at you? Instead he looks at a magazine? That is terrible!

bewarethesloth 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:44

PWND

ChileanPepper 0

Monday 30 March 2009 2:42

This really isn't all that weird as everyone is thinking. I think a lot of the people saying wow what an asshole - they're girls and don't understand. Guys saying wow he's probably gay, you're probably ugly, they've never had sex. The way the girl phrased this saying tried to have intercourse makes me think that this was the first time, maybe for both of them. A lot of guys in their first time or if they're inexperienced have a hard time maintaining their erection especially if they're not comfortable being naked with the person. She shouldn't be that insulted, would she rather him go flacid during the sex or him keep the erection? If they have sex more he'll be able to keep it. Before you make a judgement, know what you're talking about. A guy can be with the hottest girl naked grinding on him and not get an erection. It's just about self control and his thoughts. I know I can keep it down even when a girl is grinding on me dancing, unlike a lot of other guys.