Miscellaneous: Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual...

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 17:14 - United States

Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 858

You deserved it 65 724

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Same thing different taste

By maryfaithh - 27/01/2012 16:30 - United States

Today, I tried to open a can with a potato peeler. For a minute I forgot what a can opener looked like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 515

You deserved it 25 999

By razordot - 28/02/2019 09:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, after complaining all my life that no one makes a decent can opener, I have realised that I have been using them the wrong way. I finally figured out that the cutting blade goes on the SIDE of the can not the TOP. I'm 57 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 2 081

By afraidofcans - 23/10/2012 16:01 - United States - Stafford

Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 775

You deserved it 4 447

Fragile

By lithium-dreams - 16/07/2022 22:00

Today, I attempted to open a water bottle. My hand started bleeding before I was able to get the cap loose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 159

By tstaeger - 24/07/2010 05:20 - United States

Today, I tried drinking "Smart Water" for the first time. I couldn't figure out how to open the bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 425

You deserved it 37 822

Good morning!

By Anonymous - 28/05/2018 09:00 - United States - Fairbanks

Today, while I brewed myself a cup of coffee, my best friend began screwing around with a can opener like it was nunchucks. He looked at me and said, "Wouldn't it suck if-" as he flung it around and one of the handles flew off, directly into my testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 882

You deserved it 200

Good old gender stereotypes

By Brian - 05/11/2020 13:59 - Macedonia - Skopje

Today, I couldn't open a jar of mayo and my cousin had to open it for me. She's a 16 year-old girl and I'm a 24 year-old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 806

Goober

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 02:00

Today, at a local mini mart, I tried several times to open a door that clearly said "PUSH" by pulling it, much to the amusement to the customers and staff inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 783

By sillybrohos - 15/02/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, I spent 2 minutes struggling to cork a wine bottle for one of my tables only to have them eventually point out to me that the bottle was a twist-off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 312

You deserved it 33 802

First time

By februarymarchapril - 04/02/2015 03:45 - United States - Austin

Today, I shaved for the first time. My mum gave me a razor and I spent about 20 minutes trying to use it. I gave up, yelling, "FUCK IT!" and put it back on the shelf. It fell, and as it hit the floor, a lid fell off. I'd tried to shave with a sheathed razor for 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 663

You deserved it 42 871

jim69_fml 0

Wednesday 10 November 2010 22:07

seriously it's not that hard to use a manual can opener.... tard

tati3092 1

Wednesday 10 November 2010 22:03

hahah ur a little slow or alot

Comments

bamagrl410 31

Thursday 11 November 2010 7:37

... And you can dress yourself? Amazing.

illjusbedamned 0

Thursday 11 November 2010 7:41

you shouldn't be allowed to eat.

at0micmin3r 23

Thursday 11 November 2010 7:41

Today, I read that someone can't even use a can opener. They got dumbed down by technology. Really? A can opener? FML

chocolatemocha 0

Thursday 11 November 2010 7:45

If you can't figure out how to use a manual can opener, you obviously have some problems. I agree with the biggest fail thing though.

dtegrl 0

Thursday 11 November 2010 7:58

Really...? Really...? Are your parents brother and sister?

al3xg 0

Thursday 11 November 2010 8:03

WTF

BIGshooter 2

Thursday 11 November 2010 8:20

Bro you are fail super tard.

Sharpie_08 0

Thursday 11 November 2010 8:29

jack ass

gunman15 4

Thursday 11 November 2010 8:39

finally someone stupider than me now I can proudly tell people that I'm not the dumbest person one earth

stewpididiot 11

Thursday 11 November 2010 8:40

WWDS ? What Would Darwin Say ? he'd say " HEY!!! YOU !!!! OUTA THE GENE POOL !!!! "

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 391

You deserved it 115 808

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 306

You deserved it 125 970

The Top

Today, I caught my ex trying to slash my car tires with a knife. She actually had the balls to claim she was testing my tire pressure, before power-walking off into the distance like nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 035

You deserved it 2 745

Today, I was walking through the mall with my husband. We came across a guy who was selling some weight loss pills. He tried to sell me some and I kindly declined. He told me not to deny my weight problems. Thanks. I'm 7 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 800

You deserved it 2 810

Today, I noticed that my acne has gotten so bad, I can see it out of my peripheral vision. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 086

You deserved it 9 183

Today, I managed to somehow trip and fall on my back twice within just two hours. My back didn’t hurt the first time, but it sure does now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 124

Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 771

You deserved it 2 715

Today, I decided to change my boyfriend's background on his phone. As I was in the process of changing it, I noticed his most recent picture is of a naked girl. The naked girl happened to be my 18 year-old sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 935

You deserved it 5 029