Intimacy: Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional...

By emmamrose7 - 15/08/2014 03:36 - United States - Vista

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 724

You deserved it 6 072

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Same thing different taste

By Fuperman - 02/06/2013 23:14 - France - Illange

Today, I went on my first ever assisted skydive. I fainted after we jumped, and only came to as we touched the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 680

You deserved it 6 731

Not cut out for this

By Anonymous - 18/12/2016 02:10

Today, I took my girlfriend skydiving for her birthday. I insisted on joining her to make it a memory for us both, despite my fear of heights. I passed out twice mid-freefall and had to be saved by the instructor both times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 807

You deserved it 1 412

By _The__Doctor_ - 31/12/2012 22:44 - United States - Venice

Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to my back the whole way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 333

You deserved it 3 731

By Anonymous - 04/12/2015 20:36 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 105

You deserved it 2 937

Bad moon rising

By Anonymous - 08/07/2023 06:00

Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time in years. Almost immediately, I realized that my shorts were no match for the forces of gravity. I spent the rest of the ride clinging to my seat for dear life while trying to subtly cover my exposed ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 611

By Thanks dicks - 07/09/2018 06:00

Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 754

You deserved it 378

By Anonymous - 30/08/2011 14:12 - United States

Today, I learned that I have the balls to base jump and skydive, but I still can't ask out the hot girl working at the pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 689

You deserved it 8 544

By no_hullabalo - 04/09/2009 14:50 - Taiwan

Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 831

You deserved it 3 470

By SebastianCT - 19/08/2015 17:44 - United States - Tampa

Today, I learned that it's possible to get hit by a bird while bungee jumping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 129

You deserved it 2 101

By scardeycat13 - 08/01/2012 05:38 - United States

Today, I went snowboarding for the first time. I was so scared I passed out. I was only on the kiddy hill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 257

You deserved it 10 746

addictedtoIASIP 14

Friday 15 August 2014 18:40

Well at least you know he found you attractive

thesmeagol 22

Friday 15 August 2014 18:40

He was really excited about the skydiving.

Comments

loserman67 35

Friday 15 August 2014 21:04

Sounds like it was a hard landing...

squarecircles 13

Friday 15 August 2014 21:16

That's a hard act to follow. (sorry I just couldn't help it)

valalvax 13

Friday 15 August 2014 21:20

Am I the only one who considered the possibility that she felt his harness? No SwiftKey, I didn't mean hardness

nicievans 9

Friday 15 August 2014 21:26

He REALLY enjoys skydiving.

sibeso 17

Friday 15 August 2014 23:07

That happens a lot during skydiving; the adrenaline is a major factor.

andyeatsworld 10

Saturday 16 August 2014 0:26

He was ready to dive I to that pussy.

EvilLittleMan 23

Saturday 16 August 2014 0:35

I hope he didn't cum in for hard landing with you.

SofiaM0517 8

Saturday 16 August 2014 0:59

Try a female next time...

RobertWJV86 11

Saturday 16 August 2014 1:07

Maybe he had a fear boner..

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Saturday 16 August 2014 2:44

What if she ends up with a wet spot instead?

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Saturday 16 August 2014 1:44

Somebody likes you!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 037

You deserved it 4 250

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 124

You deserved it 40 856

The Top

Today, I was sitting in my bed drinking Yoohoo from a juice box. I decided it would be fun to see how much I could fit in my mouth. As soon as my mouth was full, I sneezed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 726

You deserved it 41 620

Today, I eavesdropped as my friend tried hinting to my crush that I like him. He replied, "Haha, eww. She looks like a fuckin' garden gnome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 548

You deserved it 1 742

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 772

You deserved it 9 263

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 506

You deserved it 4 481

Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 482

You deserved it 4 789

Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 898

You deserved it 1 238

Same thing different taste

Not cut out for this

Bad moon rising

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